Everyone talks about the lack of “good” men, that women outnumber the men, and how women are often left searching for their equal. My question is if you’re a “good” man why would you settle for ONE woman when the odds are in your favor? What reason would you have not to have a SQUAD? I don’t mean like 20-30 women but at least a good starting 5!

Here’s the blueprint:

The ALL-STAR (s):

You wanna start with your ALL-STAR, because this the cornerstone of your team and the one you spend the most time with. She gotta be RIGHT!!!! And possess most if not all the qualities you would seek if you were gonna make her the main chick. Hell this is the MVP, so if she sticks around long enough she has the most potential to one day make it to wife material when and if you ever wanna slow down. She looks good, is intelligent, and a head turner. She could have any man wife her but she met you first, you put it down and now she’s not going anywhere anytime soon. She’s beautiful so you treat her good but you can’t over compliment her like all the other dudes, your angle has to be way different! Make her laugh, say off the wall stuff to her out of the blue, be unpredictable. You have to do something special for her regularly, like send flowers or take her on a vacation or two. For her to stick around you gotta at least make her feel like the main chick, telling her you love her & she’s the ONE regularly (make her feel “special”). Occasionally or often (depending on the woman) these players WILL become disillusioned with the team and it’s goals and you WILL have to Woo her back with something special, that shows them they are st*rs of the team! A big ticket item or trip has to be budgeted within the salary cap for unexpected outbursts! The st*rs need to be kept happy because you can’t win a title without them!

Now for the remaining  women you have a lot of slack on how to handle your player rotation. You can try having two or three all stars (Miami Heat style) and run your team that way on your championship run or keep it low key and just get some role players. Going for the title could get complicated as the all stars might compete to be the MVP instead of playing their positions thus creating problems with cohesion & team chemistry, leaving you as a coach in a  possible situation where you have to trade or cut one of them in order to stay headed for success. You have to be the Phil Jackson of your team catering to the big egos while keeping your eyes on the prize, but also have the ice cold veins that allow you to make whatever cuts are necessary for success.  Pages: 1 2 3 4

Ted has been living the life money, cars, women, whatever….

He lives with his girl but does whatever he wants. Comes in all hours of the night & morning if at all and while there may be an argument or tears from his girl she still takes care of him and they’ve been together awhile. He has love for her but isn’t in love with her. So one day he’s out and about and sees someone that catches his eye off the bat. This one seems different he thinks and takes the necessary steps to get to know more about her and eventually pursues her. By chance they end up working at the same place, they conversate, exchange numbers and a little while later Ted’s breaking up with his girl and moving in with Trish. Ted’s been in like, not love before but this is different. They have a ball together and though they go through drama of their own seem to generally have love for one another.

One day someone tells Trish that Ted is still creeping with his ex (which he’s not) and in the middle of their biggest fight Ted out of fear of losing her pops the question and Trish says “YES!” It wasn’t an ideal proposal but they have a dream wedding and start a life together. They have two children and decide to relocate. In the process of adjusting to a new state and the other stresses of kids, bills, family, and life in general they start to grow apart. To the outside it seems like everything’s together but that’s far from the truth. They cheat, lie, fight, but stay together. They break up, make up, wake up and try it again and again. Eventually they decide to call it quits, with each of them realizing they love each other but can’t make either one happy. They go through the dark days ahead feeling the pain of years past in addition to the pain of their children dealing with the divorce. They go to war over everything, the kids see and hear too much, eventually they heal and become friends and great co-parents. Dark days and sleepless nights turn two people into stronger, wiser, and more faithful beings that understand the joy, pain, sunshine, and rain relationships can bring. They hopefully have learned from their mistakes and move on with life…

This may not be your story, may have some or no similarities to your present, past or future relationship but hopefully leads you to question the “happiness” of life. Everyone ultimately wants to be happy and ever since Adam and Eve in the garden man was meant to be with woman and woman was meant to be with man so that’s the quest of life. To hopefully find that person that would be the missing piece to a happy and fulfilled journey.

Too many times though we act as the settlers that founded new lands. We stake a claim to someone and stay there no matter what, like the posters on the wall we are there hour after hour, year after year. Scared to leave because we think someone might find gold where we only sifted through dirt. Like gold miners we keep sifting and sifting, but looking up we actually fall deeper and deeper into the pit of sadness. We want gold, we want oil, we want happiness but we instead get sadness and turmoil with a few laughs sprinkled in occasionally. Two people have either drifted apart or were never truly together in the first place. Some people settle for comfortable. Meaning the kids are good, the bills are paid, there’s money in the bank, a roof over your head or whatever’s important to you at the time. But can you really put a price on true happiness? How can you be comfortable when you have love for but aren’t in love with the person you go home to everyday? How can you flirt, cheat, and/or fantasize and then lay next to someone you supposedly love knowing none of the fantasies involved them? How can you accept someone cheating or disrespecting you but then come home to them day after night, year after year? What made you think settling was acceptable? Made it alright to accept existing instead of actually living?

I’ve lost enough people and seen enough things to know that life’s short, so why live it with someone that either never did or doesn’t make you happy? People seem so scared to be alone and deal with the person in the mirror that they’ll settle for “cool” or just enough. I don’t even like my food cool, so why would I accept that in another human being? Others keep waiting on change. The same person you’ve been with for X amount of years you expect to one day come home to and they’re all of the sudden the man/woman of your dreams. Take the rose colored glasses off things don’t happen like that. People are who they are and you either accept them or you don’t. What good’s a nice family portrait when you know it only shows actors and actresses like your favorite movie poster?

Eventually everyone has to deal with the person on the other side of the mirror. I think after years of complacency the image staring back at you becomes more and more unrecognizable. As for me I’d rather be happy and single than settle for cool or miserable. It takes a strong, confident person to be selective in who they choose to spend any part of their life with.

I used to laugh at the people I saw at the movies and eating alone, but now I commend them because for whatever reason they’ve decided not to conform to a random warm body in an otherwise cold bedroom and life. Marriage is great, relationships are great, love is wonderful as long as you don’t just settle for a façade that’s far short of the intended meaning of any of those things like many people do just because they can’t or refuse to do life alone…..

When you’re really confident and happy with yourself you’ll realize who and what makes you happy and won’t settle for less, when you’re not you’ll settle for anything, appear to have something, and wake up daily questioning whether you have anything at all. The choice is yours, I choose to be happy and “cool” or comfortable just isn’t enough and never will be…

I only have one question: Are you happy? And if not what are you gonna do about it? Time waits for no one..

On Tuesday Los Angeles city council voted 9-1 to grant final approval on an ordinance that would make film permits to comply with condoms requirements.  The ordinance will make it mandatory for every actor to have a condom on during scenes.

So what if it makes the industry safer, money is more important to some of the biggest executives within the $8 billion porn industry . The executives are planning to leave LA, which is currently the largest capital of porn, if condoms are required.  They quoted that the measure is not necessary, and  consumers would stop watching , because it will distract from their fantasies. The adult film makers already requires actors to get tested every 30 days for STD’s.  Vivid which is the largest porn company in the world, who has marketed several celebrities sex tapes, Co-founder had this to say.

“It’s going to be interesting to see how in fact they do try to enforce it and who’s going to fund it, and all of the time and effort they’re going to spend,”

He also stated

“Ultimately I think what they will find is people will just stop shooting in the city of Los Angeles,” added Hirsch. “That’s a given.”

The spokesman of the AIDS healthcare Foundation Ged Kenslea, states that the measure is very much needed, to protect the performers.  He claims that the industry has been ignoring state laws, that requires the use of condoms when performers are exposed to blood-borne diseases.  He stated

“Let’s make one thing clear: Condom use on adult film sets is, and has been, the law in California under blood-borne pathogens regulations,” he said. “It is just a law that has not been uniformly enforced or followed. This film permit ordinance that the city council approved today provides another enforcement mechanism to make sure that adult film producers are complying with existing California law.”

The porn industry hasn’t reported a case of HIV since 2004, but if the new measures prevent another case, I say go for it.  I also feel that it should be the performers choice to wear a condom or not, because after all it is an adult decision.

 Despite all the rumors, speculations and backlash about her early divorce...

Kim is still getting  paid. The owner of the club Tao,  which is located in Las Vegas inside the Venetian Hotel, is giving Kim 600,000 just to host a New’s Eve party.

The same owner gave Ms. Kardashian  500,000 last year to host the same party . Even after all of the boycotts against “Keeping up with the Kardashian” , and the outrage for her early divorce to Kris Humphris, Kim has still managed to get an 100,000 dollar increase (WOW)!

 Maybe the  Tao owner, could get Kanye to be the DJ for the party. Mr. West took to his twitter page last night to reveal his aspiration on DJ-ing for New Years Eve , He even created a name . Kanye tweeted

My New Years DJ name is gone be YEEZY WORLD PEACE! If you book me you have to put YEEZY WORLD PEACE on the E-vite. Or I ain’t spinning.

By the way, Kayne is only  following 4 people on twitter, and guess Who’s 1… Yes, that’s right  Kim , Maybe its some truth to the dating rumors.

This is for the confident, intelligent, charismatic gentleman that doesn’t feel the need to be in a committed relationship at the present moment or this can be adjusted for the confident lady that wants to reap ALL the benefits of a NSA (No strings attatched) lifestyle…

Everyone talks about the lack of “good” men, that women outnumber the men, and how women are often left searching for their equal. My question is if you’re a “good” man why would you settle for ONE woman when the odds are in your favor? What reason would you have not to have a SQUAD? I don’t mean like 20-30 women but at least a good starting 5!

Here’s the blueprint:

The ALL-STAR (s):

You wanna start with your ALL-STAR, because this the cornerstone of your team and the one you spend the most time with. She gotta be RIGHT!!!! And possess most if not all the qualities you would seek if you were gonna make her the main chick. Hell this is the MVP, so if she sticks around long enough she has the most potential to one day make it to wife material when and if you ever wanna slow down. She looks good, is intelligent, and a head turner. She could have any man wife her but she met you first, you put it down and now she’s not going anywhere anytime soon. She’s beautiful so you treat her good but you can’t over compliment her like all the other dudes, your angle has to be way different! Make her laugh, say off the wall stuff to her out of the blue, be unpredictable. You have to do something special for her regularly, like send flowers or take her on a vacation or two. For her to stick around you gotta at least make her feel like the main chick, telling her you love her & she’s the ONE regularly (make her feel “special”). Occasionally or often (depending on the woman) these players WILL become disillusioned with the team and it’s goals and you WILL have to Woo her back with something special, that shows them they are st*rs of the team! A big ticket item or trip has to be budgeted within the salary cap for unexpected outbursts! The st*rs need to be kept happy because you can’t win a title without them!

Now for the remaining  women you have a lot of slack on how to handle your player rotation. You can try having two or three all stars (Miami Heat style) and run your team that way on your championship run or keep it low key and just get some role players. Going for the title could get complicated as the all stars might compete to be the MVP instead of playing their positions thus creating problems with cohesion & team chemistry, leaving you as a coach in a  possible situation where you have to trade or cut one of them in order to stay headed for success. You have to be the Phil Jackson of your team catering to the big egos while keeping your eyes on the prize, but also have the ice cold veins that allow you to make whatever cuts are necessary for success.  Pages: 1 2 3 4

I’ve talked to some females who’ve had the misfortune of reading and believing the myth in Steve Harvey’s book about a woman waiting 90 days before they give up the cookies.. My response? It’s your body do what you want, but why let this miscellaneous ninja dictate your decisions?

Mr. Harvey is on his 3rd marriage and his current wife is on her 3rd marriage also, so who are we following for advice on relations and relationships? When did he become such a guru? Not passing judgement but Mr. Harvey says he’s a christian but promotes the 90 day rule, while the bible states to wait until marriage for sexual relations. So unless he thinks he’s P. Diddy and remixed the bible even by his own stated beliefs this makes NO SENSE!

Who gave this ninja the keys to the cookie bag? And what formula did he use to come up with 90 days? If a guy waits 90 days, gets the cookies then dashes on the 91st day is there a point to waiting? And if that same guy waits on you what’s to say he’s not smashing something else in the meantime? Some guys will honestly wait on you *cough.. very few*, some won’t but it should be about how y’all are relating and feeling each other that determines whether you should wait 90 days or 90 seconds..

Either way there’s no guarantee of success or failure every situation is different. And any grown woman that listens to some miscellaneous ninja to determine what she does with her body needs help. I didn’t know Steve Harvey died on the cross and rose on the 3rd day, that wasn’t in my bible. But if you wanna listen to him and wait the 90 days I just hope your cookies ain’t stale and the dude is still around to reach in the bag when you open it up!

Along with the rest of the worlds women, even Jill Scott has been the victim of dicktimazation.  Recently she spoke about being dickmatized in  Sister 2 Sister  Magazine:

What exactly is “dickmatized”?
“Where you get caught up in the whole sexuality of your relationship but it’s not going anywhere… Just somebody giving you the goods but not necessarily giving you the rest—or not expecting the rest from them. What I’ve discovered is, although it may be a lot of fun, it is also a waste of time and you might be blocking your blessing—blocking somebody who wants to be more to you than just a great time in your life.

How she became un-dickmatized?
“Just realizing what I have to offer. I’m so much more than my flesh!” .

If you haven’t noticed Jill Scott also recently underwent some weight loss. Jill also sat down with  Us Magazine to discuss her bout with celibacy and her recent weight loss:

 Are you still celibate after your breakup?

Now the minimum is until the fifth date. The whole celibacy thing, you could throw that out the window. That’s over. But I don’t have physical intimacy until at least the fifth date. So I can get to know who I’m dealing with and they can get to know me. And with my schedule, five dates can take three or four months! It just gives me a chance to get to know the person. So we talk on the phone pretty much every day or maybe we Skype or have a date and we have fun. I’m getting to know someone so I know if they’re crazy or not. I just don’t want to waste my time. I’m just trying to look at the mistakes that I made. I got so caught up in the flesh and I’m not even allowing someone to get to know the best parts of me. I’m a single girl in the world, but if I don’t have some standards then I can be making the same mistakes that I made in the past. I do want love. Genuine love. And sometimes sex can get in the way.

You’ve never been a shallow person, but you’ve lost 63 pounds since 2009. Why?

Jill Scott: Health. It was the major impetus for me getting up off of my ass. I would notice when I would get to like number nine on a staircase, I’d be out of breath. And I was like I’m too young for this crap. I want to be able to jog up my stairs, especially with the little one, who’s now a toddler. I get to run after him and I’m enjoying that. So we’ll go swimming, take walks, I’ll ride him on the back of my bike — there’s a whole world of discovery in his eyes and I just want to be there for it to enjoy it. People are noticing, and that’s great, I appreciate it. In order to grow emotionally and mentally, sometimes you have to grow physically as well. I’m just trying to grow, man, and always I just want to be the best and most confident me I can be. And now I’m someone’s role model for real. I just want to be a fun mom.

I know I can relate.  It actually takes a while to stop being dickmatized and tell yourself that you are worth more. Even though it feels so good.  The decision to let go still has to be made.  Even if it means you will be going through a dry spell.  

I think Celibacy is a waste of your youth.. Not that many people are going to want to have sex with you when you get old.  What do you think about celibacy?

Source

BARBIES

Lately, I have had more than a few men that I’ve gone out with compliment me on the way I look without make-up on. They say that it’s rare to see a woman who looks naturally beautiful. Initially I didn’t pay much attention to the compliment, but after hearing it repeated by completely different types of men. I started to think!

Although, I personally don’t have to wear make-up. I wonder why men give women in general, such a hard time for wearing make-up if they know it is rare that a woman will be beautiful without it?

Isn’t it a woman’s right to attempt to look her absolute best? If every woman can’t be beautiful without make-up, what is wrong with her using it to boost her confidence? Would you rather her accept that she is not the most beautiful without make-up on? Would you prefer that her self esteem be lowered? Every woman wants to feel beautiful.

I’m confused as to why you say it’s what’s on the inside that counts, yet you want her to work out so that she can be aesthetically appealing.

It’s not like men are saying they are annoyed because we leave make-up on their shirts. Would it really please men if make-up no longer existed? I don’t understand…. What are you truly getting at by saying you don’t like the make-up?

Also a lot of men know for a fact their woman is not that attractive without make-up. Do you really want her going to work without make-up having to be around all those naturally beautiful women ?

Makeup is good for me, you and everybody…

]]> http://www.askkissy.com/2011/07/05/why-do-men-hate-a-when-a-woman-wears-makeup/feed/ 29 http://www.askkissy.com/2011/06/25/if-a-woman-got-pregnant-by-you-and-she-was-going-to-have-an-abortion-would-you-want-to-know/ http://www.askkissy.com/2011/06/25/if-a-woman-got-pregnant-by-you-and-she-was-going-to-have-an-abortion-would-you-want-to-know/#comments Sun, 26 Jun 2011 00:42:13 +0000 Miss Kissy http://www.askkissy.com/?p=1897 “Kissy can you ask a question to the men on your page? If a woman got pregnant by you and she was going to have an abortion would you want to know?”

Musobobi Ivan from Jinja, Uganda (AFRICA) Asks:

“Kissy why are women so rude to their spouse when they are sexualy starved, instead of being open & ask 4 it.”

Kissy’s Answer:

That is one of the worst feelings. To be a attractive woman, to have a mate and to be sexually starved. It is very frustrating. A woman expects a man to supply her needs. It should not have to be a guessing game, nor should a woman have to tap you on the shoulders and tell you that she wants it. If it hasn’t happened in over a week and she is has an attitude with you then you know what the problem is.  A man should get his mates schedule down to see how often her body is going to crave you.

A lot of times when a woman has an attitude she simply needs intimacy.  Then she will calm down and go back to being the nice, sweet pleasant lady you met. This is how a woman is tamed and becomes submissive to you. By you fulfilling her needs.