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Kissy, I know it’s a strong possibility that this has been brought up..but I’m a cultured young man- I’ve traveled many lands, and many tend to take my thoughts, views, and opinions as in me being a basher of black women…but my question is:

Why do BLACK women think that BLACK men should only date BLACK women?”

J-T0-You

J To You Facebook

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For once in my blog life considering how touchy this subject is I’m going to try to be politically correct as possible.  This is a very serious topic.

This whole interracial dating problem with black women being upset with black men for dating non-black women is mainly due to the majority of black women being unwilling to date outside of their own race.  Black women are born with a very strong attraction to black men. They admire his strength, his aggressive attitude, his demeanor his swagger and even his confidence. Most of all black women are highly attracted to the complexion of a black man. It’s locked in her D.N.A. to love a black man. 

Some black men however are not born with this predetermined color of appeal.  These men feel as though black women are a headache.  Which is a totally silly thing to say about an entire race. The question should actually be  why are some black women a headache? It’s because of the way they have been treated by black men.

The beginnings of the racial divide among black men and women actually start in the black home.  Black women are being raised to be independent women. They grow up clueless on exactly what a good man is and what he does.

The last thing they are being taught is to be a good wife.

Being a good wife to a good man is actually their last goal in life.. That is up until the point they realize that no man wants to marry them.

In these very same households black men are being raised by single black women who work hard, got left by countless baby daddies and blah, blah, blah.  Instead of taking in the mistreatment that they received from past men and teaching their  sons not to portray these unattractive traits,  these same black women that have been abused and misused by black men turn around and teach their sons the exact opposite of what being a man is all about. It’s definitely hard for a woman to teach her son how to be a good man when she’s never had a good man in her life. 

These women teach their sons to not give a chick anything and to look for a woman who has her own and doesn’t need anything from him. So Wallah. These kids turn 22 and now boy meets girl as man and woman.  Woman has done it on her own, graduated from college has her own place and doesn’t need no man.  Boy who is now a man meets woman and is attracted to her independent ways.  

He doesn’t open doors for Miss Independent. He doesn’t bring flowers for Miss Independent and Miss Independent doesn’t need him to help her pay her bills.  The minute he does something wrong Miss Independent is rolling her eyes and snapping her neck.  Every time he asks her something she has an attitude. He’s wondering why, he didn’t do anything wrong. She’s wondering why he doesn’t bring her flowers open doors and gift her with nice things.  Instead of both people taking a step back and realizing the problem starts with themselves, both blame one another. The black woman will then blame the black man and continue to date black men and let the process begin all over again.

However some black men after a few trial runs with the wrong black women said hold up, I’m noticing a pattern. Let me try something else.  So now this black man who hasn’t been taught how to treat women well now starts to date these sweet white women who have been taught how to nurture and cater to a man with the goal of being a good wife in mind.

So now this black man who  previously had no manners is slowly starting to change because of the way he is being treated. He’s talked to respectively, he’s now being catered to which overall changes him and makes him treat his woman better in response to how she has treated him.  Now it’s over for him. Even if that relationship doesn’t work out he remembers how well he was treated. He remembers how easy the white woman was to get along with. He remembered always feeling like a man when he was with her. He has no recollections of being ridiculed or made to feel like less of a man. He especially recalls how he always felt needed by the white woman, unlike his ex black girlfriends who didn’t need him for anything.

Now the black woman meanwhile is dating a new man with her same independent I don’t need a man for anything but I want one attitude.  She meets another black man who loves the fact that she doesn’t need him for anything.. She treats him as such. He has no idea what to do to make her respect him. He wants to feel needed by her. Neither can figure it out so they both break up and continue the cycle again with someone else.

Meanwhile a hardcore black man who was raised by a single mother meets a lovely black woman who was raised by her mom and dad who have been married for 20 years. She’s very kind, sweet, pleasant, smart and makes decent money.  She adores him and treats him as such. She’s very feminine and let’s him know that he is needed. He slowly starts to change. Suddenly he surprises her with flowers, he brings her little gifts. He remembers her favorite candy. He loves to take her out and show her a good time. She’s so wonderful he wants to protect her and keep her all to himself.

Back at the ranch Miss independent I don’t need a man for anything is in between men right now. She is a bit bitter about all of her failed relationships. She’s out at the mall and spots a handsome black man hugged up with a blonde haired white woman.  She’s disgusted.  She’d never date outside of her race. Unfortunately that is exactly what she needs to do. She needs to date a non black man and become accustomed to being treated right.  The way she will be treated will slowly change her into a more feminine slightly submissive women who respects her mate and allows a man to be a man.

This is a simplified way of putting it. Let’s not pretend that some black men no matter who they date just don’t act right so they never realize the probably in really within themselves. Same thing with some black women,  a ratchet hood rat most times can not be changed for the better. 

If a woman allows a man to be a man then that enables her to be  a woman. It’s all about how you treat people and how you make them feel. A man should make a woman feel sweet, dainty and protected . A woman should make a man feel needed, respected, capable and strong. If you understand the simple rule of treating people well and only dealing with people who treat you well in return you will slowly begin to understand that the core of a relationship has nothing to do with race at all. You simply have a preference….  And that preference may not be black women for whatever reason… 

Black women don’t understand what makes you have that preference….  They assume that the choice is yours.  It may or may not be. Either way, does it really matter as long as you’re happy?