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Kissy:

Why are “Goldiggers” so celebrated in our society & usually find the wealthy men that they are looking for.  You constantly tell us women to strive for a wealthy man but how does an average beautiful “Real” woman do that?  Does she have to act conceited and be a “model”?

- Submitted Via Email By Lisa -

A while back things did change and society began to look up to gold diggers.  With the immersion of The Basketball Wives gold digging was now put on a new platform to be admired.  But it’s not necessarily their gold digging that is being celebrated. What’s actually being celebrated is their “winning” status in life.  These women rock the hottest designer clothes, drive the hottest whips, they attend the hottest parties and events, jet set around the world, and  are pursued by new wealthy  men..  They have champagne brunches with their friends and stupid arguments about nothing because that’s just how much time they have on their hands.

For the most part none of them have any talent other than apparently sucking the right lollipop..  But still they live a life that other women can only dream of.   Meanwhile, you’re coming home after a hard days work at your accounting job that you got after you graduated from college. You’re in your small apartment and Bakers shoes with your Honda Accord parked outside..  Apparently the talentless Basketball Wives are smarter then you?

They are now successful just like  the successful males they slept with. They’re in the circle and there must be something special bout them since these million dollar athletes choose to be with them right? Not necessarily, but that’s what people think, including the other multi-million dollar athletes. They too want the woman that’s highly desired and prized by other successful men..

While some women figure they can work hard and become a big success on their own, other women realized that although they may pull in a decent income by being independent, realized they would never be able to afford their desired lifestyle on such a modest income..   Unlike the majority of women who simply accept the fact they will never have the finer things in life, the “gold digging” women instead decide they have the option of being able to  enlist the resources of a man of great financial means in order to  to acquire their wants. You would think a man would be turned off by such a woman, that wants him to provide for her, but the men these women end up with are looking for just that..  In their mind they see nothing wrong with a woman being attracted to successful men.. They don’t blame them.

People from the outside looking in assume these men are being used by these unscrupulous, self-serving women. However, that’s not always the case. I’ve never met a woman that only wanted money from a man and didn’t seek a loving relationship. So I can’t tell you about a true gold digger, but I can tell you that other women who seek out men who are above the status-quo end up in a truly loving relationship with them. These men are loved.

I also know that when it’s time to break up, if not married that woman will almost have a panic attack.  She does not want to let go of a man that has done so much for her.  She does not want to go back to struggling again and no longer living “that life.” If a woman can love a broke man whole-heartedly just imagine how easy it is to love a man who looks the same as the broke man accept he is spoiling you to your hearts content. Now imagine how hard it would be to let such a man go.. LOL (the stories)

Often you will hear people say that none of these women actually love their rich man as if the man is unwarranted or undeserving of actually being loved as a human..  More so they feel as though it’s impossible for a wealthy man to be a good mate to a woman.. These things are simply untrue.

You may not realize this, but in life we all get what we truly desire.. That’s just the way it goes. If you ask the universe for love, it’s going to give you love. If you ask the universe for a rich man eventually it’s going to give you that..  But if you ask the universe for an attractive man who loves and adores you and will also take care of you the universe will also grant you that.  You get what you ask for.  Seek and ye shall find…

As far as the looks of these women.. No you don’t necessarily have to look like a model chick or act conceited. But yes you do have to look the best you possibly can and come off as very confident in yourself.. These men do want these women because they are attractive and highly desirable.  In order to be a gold digger you have to first be a desirable woman. These men are very confident and usually wear the latest in designer clothes. So when they meet a woman rocking the same labels it’s simply like attracting like..

Some off brand looking guy walked up to me today asking for my number.. I politely told him that I don’t date.. He said why not.. I told him that I was busy working all the time, because I’m trying to be highly successful in life and that takes a bit of focus.. He asked where I worked at and I told him “Subway”.   He told me that he LOVED that I was independent and that he “wouldn’t have to whine and dine me all of the time, like those gold digger chicks”...   It tickles me that such guys really think they are offering you a platinum package..   So I asked him why did he think I needed a man.. He told me to give me affection and protect me.

Different men have different ideas on what type of woman is a suitable fit for a relationship.   The type of woman they seek is defined on what type of man he is. Some men like taking care of their woman while others don’t. The ones who end up with the so called “gold diggers” are attracted to a woman that desires to be spoiled. It’s usually their hearts.. These men enjoy giving..  They look forward to meeting a woman who he feels is so special that she deserves to be spoiled with the best in life. Depending on who she chooses it may or may not be all it’s cracked up to be.

The ones who end up with super independent women for the most part don’t have any interest in spoiling a woman. He is attracted to the fact that he doesn’t have to do much for her.  Same way a pimp is attracted to a hoe because he doesn’t have to do much for her.

It’s easy for a wealthy man to provide for a woman, but it’s not easy for a non wealthy man to provide.. A non wealthy man may desire to give a woman everything she wants, but he simply can’t afford to. It’s just not practical. So of course he’s going to be attracted to the independent kind.

Either  type can be a good man for a woman.  Then a woman must decide if this relationship is good for a short term  or a long term.  A woman must be truthful with herself and decide if she is truly going to be happy with a man who loves her but can’t spoil her.. If she can, great.. If not, then she has to not date and chase her own riches or pursue a man that can fulfill her wishes.

The idolization of a gold digger is no different then the idolization the American public has with it’s celebrities.  People admire people who appear to be winning the game of life. HOES BE WINNING AWARDS.  Some women chose a winning man so they themselves are now winning..  Winning will always be celebrated in American Society..  Winning also feels good. Losing on the other hand is often times depressing..  You want to feel good don’t you?

Often times seeing people doing well evokes happy feelings in others who may not even know them.. Happy because they look at them as someone who beat the odds.

Back in 2009 when Ursula Burns was named the first black CEO of a Forune 500 company after being given the position by Xerox she too was celebrated.  Why? Because she is winning and beating the odds. Admiration because they too would love to experience such bliss.

To understand why society looks up to gold diggers one would have to examine the mindset of society. 

People judge you based upon your position in life.. They like winners and don’t care much for losers.   - Take 2 women who look exactly the same and both were married to men for 5 years before divorcing.. Woman 1  married a plumber who loved her very much and Woman 2 dated a million dollar athlete who loved her very much.  When woman 1 broke up with her plumber husband because he beat her, she had to start all over because her husband didn’t have much although they were truly in love for a few years. So she wasn’t awarded anything in alimony.. Woman 2 is awarded $20,000 a month in alimony cause her husband cheated.. She is out shopping, doing brunch and living the good life..Woman 1 doesn’t shop much, doesn’t party much and has to save her pennies so that she can get it back together again..

Which do you think a man would be more attracted to? Does anyone really care that woman 1 doesn’t have much because she committed to a broke man and loved him very much? No, they don’t..   The bottom line is that she is losing. People tell you to date for love only yet they talk about you if you are a baby mama. Something is wrong with you because your relationship didn’t work out.. No one laughs at Tiger Woods ex wife though.  People talk, everyone has an opinion.. You gotta do what  makes YOU happy.

Regardless of your own likes, beliefs and personal values, overall society likes winners and wants to be associated with them. Gold Diggers are winning.

To end this I think that everyone should absolutely choose  a mate that represents a union of real love. Kendra Wilkinson above became Hugh’s playmate and I’m sure she hated being required to have sexual relations with the old filthy rich man who held the keys to her new life in his hands. She was doing what she had to do in order to live a better life.  She actually snuck out of the house to get real sex.  If you watched the show you know that Kendra is a very humble person. She was an everyday girl who was beautiful and lucked up on an opportunity. Eventually because of her winning association with HUGH Heftner she was able to secure a relationship with a NFL Player Hank who has been dropped from the NFL, BUT they are still together because she choose a man that she loved, but let’s not forget her route to getting there.. Kendra had a plan. Now she says that she does not agree with Hefner’s lifestyle choices of having several women at a time..  Truth be told she didn’t agree even when she was one of those women.