My mom and grandma doesn’t want me to have contact with my dad cause he’s a rapist and they were told they didn’t have to tell him I was his daughter now i’m 27 and I want to tell him but my family won’t l#t me how can I go about this.
Such a short letter. But one that immediately brought a flood of emotions to my heart.. It just so happens that my dad is sitting in jail right now.. He’s a rapist. He didn’t rape my mom but he is in jail right now for rape. I never really cared much to know who my dad was.. His family always knew I existed yet they never came looking for me.. Last year sometime I looked him up in the prison system and actually saw his face for the first time in my life.. I saw his face online.. For the first time I realized where I got my looks and my odd skin complexion from. It was from him..
It’s always nice to have two parents….. Even more so it’s pretty normal to want to meet both sides of your bloodline. Sometimes in our quest to have a “normal” life like those we see around us we could actually end up causing harm to ourselves.
You likely want to reach out to your dad to find closure because it’s more about your life then it is your mom’s life. That’s how you feel at this point. But, before you reach out to him you have to understand the mindset of a person who would commit such a heinous act.. Consider the circumstances of the act and get the details on what exactly occurred.. Was he arrested and charged? Did your mom make the allegations up because she was embarrassed that she got pregnant very young?
There’s a reason your family doesn’t want you contacting him. What is he currently doing with his life? Ask yourself will your life improve by reaching out and getting to know your father. That’s the only answer you need to decide rather to contact him or not.
Personally having a rapist for a dad is not really my cup of tea. Nor could he teach me anything at this point in my life considering the position he is in. So I decided against contacting him.. Just because a man donates sperm to create you doesn’t mean you have to have him in your life. But your decision is yours only to make sweetie. And remember you only live once. Do what makes YOU happy.