Dear Lil Kim,
I just want to tell you that it’s ok to walk away. Nicki is here. Your time has come and gone. I will always love you. You will always be the Queen Bee to me. I remember when you first came out. You had that pink CD. Girl, you were hot. I bought all your albums. And I mean bought out of the store. No bootlegs or mp3 downloads like we do now days. I wear La Perla lingerie because of you. I used to burn off all of my edges trying to dye them blonde to match my blonde weave like you. (The things that I know now) Back in the day I attended your concert with Junior Mafia. That was a very long time ago. You know I actually wrote this very same letter a year ago right before you put out your Paypal mixtape… I never posted it. I felt like I was disrespecting the Queen. But the other day I ended up saying you ripped the runway with a baby powder Michael Jackson face.. I don’t want to talk bad about you. I really want to have nice things to say about you. But the truth is Kim lately you do look a hot mess. You even have the white people calling you a hot mess.. A term that I thought was specifically used by black people..
Like This Black outfit with the loud blue shoes.. On initial reaction I was like WTH, but I tried to lie to myself and tell myself that it looked good. Same thing with the fishnet and the lime yellow shoes.
I don’t know if you let a friend style your hair and clothes because she is your friend.. One thing we know about Kim is that she is very loyal. But your hair don’t be looking good Kim. By now you should have the same stylist Beyonce has. Beyonce’s lace front’s be on point.. Heck to be honest Kim even my beautician does a better job on my lace front’s whenever I can afford one of those things..
But this isn’t about Nicki, Beyonce or me. It’s about you Kim. Kim I don’t want to talk bad about you anymore. I don’t want to laugh at the photos posted of you. For Pete’s sakes MediaTakeout compared you to the cowardly Lion Kim and for once they weren’t far from the truth.
After Whitney’s death Oprah said that we should do something to celebrate our entertainers while they are alive. I’m nominating you as the first star we should celebrate. Everyone in the industry should come together, throw a big party, show your career highlights, celebrate you and send you home knowing how much you are loved. But only if you agree to retire and stop trying to compete with Nicki Minaj. She stole your whole style and swag in the wardrobe department. Then she dissed you. I swear to you Kim I really tried to not like Nicki, but that bish is persistent. Can’t help but like her crazy azz, her colorful outfits and nursery rhymes. She’s like a Lil Kim on Steriods.. The Millenium version. Hell, even Mattel loves the bish and made her into a real life Barbie.. She’s winning. (Kanye shrug)
Nicki stays in the zone like it’s only three minutes left on the clock. Yes, she is a duplicate of you. Except, Nicki has a phat ass! Yes, we all know that it’s not real. We know all her killer curves were mastered under a knife. But you went under the knife too Kim. Yours just didn’t go so right… Despite the multiple surgeries we still loved you. We remember your purple, pink , green and blonde wigs. Nicki wears those now. She must be using that Art of War playbook, cause she doesn’t give you any credit for her style. The Young Money rapper took every aspect of you and made it her own. Pure genius if you ask me.
Anyway Kim, as a long term fan I love you enough to be honest with you. I’m asking that you step away from the studio mic and stop trying to compete with Nicki. You’ve reached the finish line babe and you did a great job. Maybe you can chill now, enjoy life and get yourself a protege. Maybe a reality show where you find yourself a protege. Maybe Queen Latifah can give you some great advice, as she was once a rapper too. I just want to look at you with respect and not laugh at you anymore.
Please retire gracefully.