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A few months after her husband committed suicide Taylor Armstrong has become  more candid about the abuse she suffered under husband Russell Armstrong, each interview seems to uncover a gruesome new detail. Now, all of the tea is about to be spilled  from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  Taylor has excerpted her memoir Hiding From Reality in the new issue of Us Weekly. Her accounts are even more horrifying, detailing Russell’s jealousy and resentment of her and their daughter Kennedy.

The most shocking quote, however, was Taylor’s admission that she believed staying on Real Housewives would keep her safe:

“I figured that having my life on camera would encourage Russell to control his temper and help our relationship. This may sound delusional, given all I had been through, but my dream was that Russell would change.”

However, because he was abusing her even when they were first interviewing for the show, it soon became clear that he wouldn’t let a pesky thing like cameras get in the way. Bravo producers were aware of the abuse and did not step in to help Taylor.

That wasn’t the only part to give us pause; here are three more disturbing quotes that illustrate the depths to which Russell scrutinized and tortured Taylor.

1. One night, looking remorseful, he suggested, “The next time I hit you, you should hit me back.”

About a month later, he was banging my head against the window of the car as he drove us home from a party at which I had angered him. I remembered what he had told me, and so I reached over and half-hit, half-pushed at his face with the palm of my left hand. He stopped banging my head, but when he turned to look at me, his face was flushed and consumed by an expression of pure, murderous rage…

“Don’t ever do that again because I almost killed you,” he said. “One of these days, I’m afraid I’m going to kill you.”

2. After discovering that Russell had hidden a tape recorder beneath her desk at home: For the next nearly six years, I always assumed I was being recorded in the car and at home. I was always careful to make sure the content of my conversations was very clear.

3. When Russell found Kennedy asleep in bed with Taylor: ”Your mom’s a whore,” he yelled. “Your mom’s a bitch!” Kennedy started to cry hysterically.

Some Tea: Bravo was going to kick Taylor off the show because Russell threatened to sue the show for defamation of character. Word is Russell ended up committing suicide because word got back to him that Taylor was secretly about to publish a book that would expose him for being bisexual. Something he tried to hide from Taylor. But she ended up hiring a private detective to follow him.  Russell would tell Taylor that he was spending time at the gym, but his physique wasn’t changing at all which caused Taylor to be suspicious.  Russells business partner killed himself a day after Russell committed suicide. Perhaps the two were……..

Taylor’s book comes out on Amazon in February.