Deja
”Kissy why is it when you get older it’s harder to find a mate, I’m older and would like to find a good guy, but here in Detroit there are no good men left. Is it over for me as far as dating?”
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Quite simply Deja, the older you get the less likely you are to deal with BS that is not conducive to your happiness.. No one wants to admit this but dating is very difficult. And the older you get the more difficult it becomes. The less likely you are to simply follow your heart and let it lead you astray. The more likely you are to take notice of things and move with caution. This is a result of knowing what you want and need. Once you determine your wants and needs a lot less people are going to fit the criteria. This dramatically decreases your dating pool.
As you get older you become more set in your ways. A woman also comes to realize what is important to her and what’s not. The longer she functions without a man the more independent she becomes and the more she becomes comfortable with spending time alone.
Usually as a woman gets older stability becomes the number one most important factor in a relationship. If a man appears to be unable to provide a woman with a stable relationship she will pass him over immediately. There is no beating around the bush, hoping, praying and wishing. Either he is or he isn’t.
See “good men” tend to like their women plain. Not too sexy. Clean appearance, low make-up, natural hair. They also want you not to give them the booty too fast.. Good men tend to marry women who display thsmsleves in a certain manner.. Often times they get these women and the women don’t really tend to them the way they should. But that’s
another blog that I already wrote
You are a nice looking lady,so that means that you do not have a problem attracting a man that wants to be with you. However you more than likely are not attracted to the majority of men who want to be with you. The majority of good men grabbed a woman right away and got married. They did not sit around trying to be the playboy of the year. Good men are not in abundance after you factor in your wants and likes.. Compatibility becomes harder with age.
I would say switch up the places you frequent and go out more often. Also dating online used to be taboo, but now people are meeting great mates and establishing long lasting relationships on places like match.com.
If that is not the problem,
No comment
Natural hair? What exactly does that mean?
All answers posted here will be transferred to the website. So why is it so hard to find a good man as you get older? Feel free to copy and paste your answer from the other thread.
I think everyone gets a little to unforgiving or set in their ways as they become older. Not only that it seems almost like you get used to being by yourself as well. I know as I have gotten older being alone doesn’t bother me as much as it used to. Doesn’t mean I don’t miss my lady… it does mean I am more comfy chillin by my lonesome tho.
Co sign#Travis
Because men progressively keep looking for younger women and you might be out of that 'good age' bracket, period!
"No, it is not over yet cuz there are good men outside of Detroit or maybe you're searching hard enough to find the man of your dream. Have faith in yourself and if you go out and work yourself to find him he will be there for you. I'm still looking for the woman of my dream and I'm still searching for her until I find her finally. Don't give up and dreams can come true." Done and done.
I dont think it gets any harder. I believe we just become more content and reserved (but yet past hurt can sometimes do a little damage control). I enjoy my life as is, but would prefer giving love, just not at the expense receiving the pain.
i dont know but it sucks
To be welling to deal with each others ways, and getting to know someone.
Women Are Looking For Men & Men Are Looking For Woman… But, Because We Are So Picky We Want What We Want & The Changes Get Slimmer Unless We're Willing To DROP Our Standards.
people tend to seek to justify how their choises to be fussy towards others' misgivings is why they are without they are without a mate yet they do not think about thier own misgivings may detract from someone wanting to be with them. This occurs at any age. However being open minded enough to forgive and grow with someone is a large societal problem and why folks are divorsing more and not willing to work with a mate for change. Then there is the other extreme where people (often women) tolerate abuse hoping the person will change and sometimes to the harm of themselves
Your field of potential mates drop. High School/College years, you have your peers. You're around potential mates your age and you have more interaction with them in classes, on campus, off campus, clubs, activities, etc. But after college years, the field gets a lot smaller and the things you do are not the same. You're not a club head like you use to be and you only go out a few times a month. The people you interact with at work are older or are not your type. The bars or hang out spots don't have as much potential mates either. Now add on what others say in terms of being picky…the field of potential mates gets even smaller. So now you're 25-35, with a certain career, looking for a man on that same level or higher, around the same age and interested in doing the same things you like to do. And your only chances of 'finding a man' is through a friend, at the bar you go to maybe twice a month, or one that walks up on you when you're doing something else like at the gas station, grocery store, or in church.
well….1.15
Well said Tranel Alston
Tranel sounds like she's done research on this-(good answer), and @ Lebowa-dats fckd up bra…..but really @ babygirl who wants tru love-just knw there'r good men out there waiting/willing 2 do their part, jusst pray and be open 2 all types-not just what u'r used 2-dnt box yaself in 2 only 1 type of guy….its alot us ready 2 be that all-purpose man u seek-good luck
Lebowa Letsoalo
Men such as yourself continue to look for younger women because they are much more easy to manipulate and believe your game. a mature woman dont have time for the little boys.
All answers posted here will be transferred to the website. So why is it so hard to find a good man as you get older? Feel free to copy and paste your answer from the other thread.
I think everyone gets a little too unforgiving or set in their ways as they become older. Not only that it seems almost like you get used to being by yourself as well. I know as I have gotten older being alone doesn’t bother me as much as it used to. Doesn’t mean I don’t miss my lady… it does mean I am more comfy chillin by my lonesome tho.
Co sign#Travis
Because men progressively keep looking for younger women and you might be out of that ‘good age’ bracket, period!
“No, it is not over yet cuz there are good men outside of Detroit or maybe you’re searching hard enough to find the man of your dream. Have faith in yourself and if you go out and work yourself to find him he will be there for you. I’m still looking for the woman of my dream and I’m still searching for her until I find her finally. Don’t give up and dreams can come true.” Done and done.
I dont think it gets any harder. I believe we just become more content and reserved (but yet past hurt can sometimes do a little damage control). I enjoy my life as is, but would prefer giving love, just not at the expense receiving the pain.
i dont know but it sucks
To be welling to deal with each others ways, and getting to know someone.
Women Are Looking For Men & Men Are Looking For Woman… But, Because We Are So Picky We Want What We Want & The Changes Get Slimmer Unless We’re Willing To DROP Our Standards.
people tend to seek to justify how their choises to be fussy towards others’ misgivings is why they are without they are without a mate yet they do not think about thier own misgivings may detract from someone wanting to be with them. This occurs at any age. However being open minded enough to forgive and grow with someone is a large societal problem and why folks are divorsing more and not willing to work with a mate for change. Then there is the other extreme where people (often women) tolerate abuse hoping the person will change and sometimes to the harm of themselves
Your field of potential mates drop. High School/College years, you have your peers. You’re around potential mates your age and you have more interaction with them in classes, on campus, off campus, clubs, activities, etc. But after college years, the field gets a lot smaller and the things you do are not the same. You’re not a club head like you use to be and you only go out a few times a month. The people you interact with at work are older or are not your type. The bars or hang out spots don’t have as much potential mates either. Now add on what others say in terms of being picky…the field of potential mates gets even smaller. So now you’re 25-35, with a certain career, looking for a man on that same level or higher, around the same age and interested in doing the same things you like to do. And your only chances of ‘finding a man’ is through a friend, at the bar you go to maybe twice a month, or one that walks up on you when you’re doing something else like at the gas station, grocery store, or in church.
Why is it so hard to find a good man when you get older?
Because now the women are the one's playing games and chasing the fantasy lifestyle that's seen on all these reality television shows….I'm just saying…..
I know one thing… a real man doesn't sit up and gossip on the internet.. They are to busy being a man… working, raising family, loving their woman, hanging with friends, volunteering in their community, and contributing to society in a positive way… This bs.. right here..
I know one thing… a real man doesn’t sit up and gossip on the internet.. They are to busy being a man… working, raising family, loving their woman, hanging with friends, volunteering in their community, and contributing to society in a positive way… This bs.. right here..
Not that I'm looking for a man, God has already blessed me with a good man, but Kissy, you hit that one right out of the ball park. For yrs we've always heard, the older we get, the less our chances of finding a good man. Its not that we are getting older per si', its just that by now we know what we want and the guy will have it or he wont. Not time for candy azz games anymore, point blank.
Not that I’m looking for a man, God has already blessed me with a good man, but Kissy, you hit that one right out of the ball park. For yrs we’ve always heard, the older we get, the less our chances of finding a good man. Its not that we are getting older per si’, its just that by now we know what we want and the guy will have it or he wont. Not time for candy azz games anymore, point blank.
This article is soooooooooooo good….. Im feeling your answers. Absoultley correct!!!!!