How many times have you heard the statement “Nice Guys Finish Last?” Too many. If you had a nickel for every time you heard someone say it, you would be rich.
I thought that I should clear the air on this statement.. Nice guys don’t finish last. Nice, boring guys finish last.
Guys who complain that they finish last with the ladies are usually share certain traits:
1. Predictable: Often times they are simply quite boring and predictable. Nothing exciting about them. They do what they are told, you can pretty much tell the time by them and predict their actions.. He asks her out on a date. He brings flowers. They go eat dinner then watch a movie. He waits until the end of the night to kiss her. He calls her every night. Women find these traits boring
What to Do?: Shake it Up a little. Be sponaneous and suprise her. Women are so bored that they look forward to meeting a spontaneous guy full of surprises. Bring Candy or something cute instead of flowers every time. Instead of watching dinner after a movie have another surprise for her. Like a special dessert shop or a special place. Don’t call her every day. Miss a few days. Let her wonder what you are doing. Don’t wait till the end of the night to kiss her. Kiss her when you feel like it.
2. Doesn’t Stand His Ground – When you arrive late and she says ”You knew how important this was for me, it’s my phucking birthday! Why didn’t you make the reservations, you phucking idiot!? Are you just phucking lazy, or are you really that fucking stupid!?” He says “Oh baby, I’m sorry! I really do care, it just slipped my mind… oh man, I promise I really WILL make it up to you.. oh man, I’m so stupid.” instead of, “Hey, the last thing that’s okay is for you to talk to me like that. When you calm down and can act like an adult we can go and celebrate like you deserve. Until then I’m out of here.”
What to do? A man must have boundaries and enforce them. No woman can be attracted to a guy she doesn’t respect. If you let her walk all over you simply because you’re desperate for her to like you, the you’ve already lost her. Being nice won’t buy her respect, but standing up for yourself will.
3. Lack of Confidence: The nice guy often feels like he is not good enough. He sits at home thinking he is not rich enough, or attractive enough to get the women he really wants. This prevents him from approaching women because he assumes that she will reject him. Meanwhile he sits there angrily watching the “bad Boy” with confidence talk to her and take up her time.
The Lesson? Women have long lists of qualifications for what they want in a man. But how often do they end up with that man? Almost never. You need to understand this if you ever wish to get your dream girl - her preferences don’t matter. If women only dated pretty boys or rich men most women would be single. You have to think to yourself that somebody is screwing her and that somebody is more than likely not rich. It’s not how you LOOK that matters, it’s how you make her FEEL that matters. Even if you are not 100% confident, don’t let her know.
4. Small Drab Wardrobe: Nice Guys are usually not the Most stylish. They love to be their natural selves and be who they are in addition to have a boring personality.. They feel like clothes are no big thing and they don’t matter. They actually do matter a lot.. They never seem to notice that the guy with the gucci loafers, the jewelry and the nice ride never seems to have a hard time getting a woman’s affection.
Why, What To Do? Nice guys think that guy that flashy guys attract bad women.. The nice guy wants a good quality woman who likes him for him. He identifies a woman that does not like the nice things in life as a quality woman. This is not true. Always dress to impress. Your clothes don’t have to be expensive but try to keep up with the times. Including your hair cut. Your appearance should say “I love myself.”
5. PASSIVE – Nice guys are not aggressive. They sit around waiting on a woman to make decisions and moves. Women like men who are able to make decisions and lead them.. They like aggressive in charge men.. It makes her wet. When you’re busy asking her, “Where do you want to go? ”What should we do?” What should we eat? ” she’s thinking, “I don’t care! Why can’t you just be a man and make a decision for us?”
What to do: Stop trying to handle her like a delicate wash cycle. Learn to be a leader. You make plans. You tell her what you are going to do. Have it all planned out. Learn to make decisions, learn to surprise her. Please stop asking women for permission and approval. Most women are very happy to be lead on each date like it’s an adventure – instead of being asked to take charge. If you want to kiss her kiss her. Don’t ask for permission. Don’t ask her if you are her type. Exude confidence at all times. If you want to have sex with her go for it. Initiate. She might turn you down or you might turn her on. You never know. But women do not like men who wait on them to make the first move.
Who is this Nice Guy? If he takes a look in the mirror he might realize tht he wouldn’t date himself if he was a woman. There is nothing special about him.. He doesn’t stand out in a crowd. A woman doesn’t look at him and see the words WINNER written all over him. As always women like men who appear to be winning.. If you look in your mirror or wallet and it doesn’t say winning you need to do something about that. Get a winning PERSONALITY.
I can give you this list. I can make it shorter or longer. But you know what. It really doesn’t matter, because you have to go on a case by case basis. Some men are too aggressive or move too soon and it will turn a woman off. Some women have gone pass the stage where they accept a guy being late or forgetting their birthday or dates. Personally a guy made me cry on my birthday and he immediately got cut off. Being super apologetic would of actually saved him. But he pulled the macho role… Some women won’t deal with a man that does not adore her. So you could get all these traits down and meet a woman who likes just the opposite. That is why people tell you to just be yourself. But alas.. self may not be good enough if you have a boring personality..
The best key to dealing with a woman is learning about her ex. If her ex was a asshole and she stayed with him for years. She might be ready for the nice guy and looking for that. She may be less willing to put up with BS because she now appreciates the value of having a nice guy.
Some girls have never had their hearts broken, or have never felt excited by a man. She may be more attracted to the fascinating bad boy who comes along..
Dating is so simple. I like you and you like me, let’s get together.. But timing sometimes changes things. Sometimes people have certain voids in their life that need to be filled. If you can fill that void that may be your way into their life. But if you can’t you may be the right person at the wrong time. This is why I tell people to always look your best. If nothing else it increases your odds.
Lastly no one can read minds. So ask a woman what she is looking for in a man. See if you can get her to describe her dream guy. This may help you in knowing what direction to go in…