06 Aug 2011
Posted by Miss Kissy 
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I was reading about a “regular looking” black girl who couldn’t get in a club in NY. I always wondered if they were only doing that in Vegas. In Vegas even if you are a gorgeous black chick who is aestheticly appealing it’s still sometimes hard to get into the club. Even if you are on the guestlist. They will not let a black woman in under the guestlist unless she is deemed hot!! And don’t call yourself overweight and black and think that you’re going to get into a hot Vegas nightclub for free. Chances are that you won’t. You can’t even pay to get in. But you can be an unattractive white woman or a out of shape white woman and you can get in the club.
Why is it that black women have to come on point and look as perfect as possible? Why do we have to be dressed super nice from head to toe? I understand it’s all about image and you want men to leave the club bragging about all the hot chicks they met and the club wants them to come back again. It is a business. But why does that rule only apply to black women?
Why is everyone so hard on black women? Then you have black men who are forever talking bad about a black woman not wearing her real hair. Telling them to wear it natural. Besides some black women having extremely kinky hard to manage hair; Do men really not understand the pressures that are on a black woman to be astheticly appealing to the mass?
I mean black women have a hard time getting into a hot diverse nightclub where their money spends just the same as everyone else. So imagine the difficulties they have trying to do other things. Someone is constantly telling them they are not good enough. So enough with the you don’t like chicks who wear weave talk. As a man unless you are financially responsible for a black woman how can you dislike the fact that she has a weave?
Frankly I have had enough of the talking bad about black women talk. Black women are some of the strongest women that God created. Loyal, strong and often left to learn everything on their own while enduring the harsh realities of life. That’s why when a woman finally finds a good black man she should not only be thankful but be appreciative.
It would be nice to say that everyone has one. But truthfully those wonderful black men who do right by you and play the part of the man in your life to a “T” are hard to come by.. They are actually a rare commodity.
The definition of a Regular Black Girl: A regular black girl is a girl who is not often found attractive by people outside of her own race…. She lacks features that would be deemed as “exotic”. She often times has dark skin or kinky hair. She often times will be pure black and not mixed with any other racial ethnicity. She might often have the “natural” look. Physically one might say there is nothing “special” about her.
My favorite lines of this injustice are : “You are pretty for a dark skinned girl” or “You are pretty for a black girl” and my most favorite. “What are you mixed with? Cause you couldn’t be all black, because you are so pretty.”
A good example of a regular black girl would be Usher’s ex wife Tameka Foster. Never has an R&B’s mate caused such outrage with his fans the way Tameka Foster did when Ushers fans found out that he married her. His fans deemed her a regular black girl. They were upset that he did not choose a mate that was considered “exotic”. They blamed Tameka for Usher’s plummeting album sales while he was with her. The public was completely unaccepting of this regular black girl. His fans were unapologetic about their dislike for her.
Lots of black men are quick to say that they want a ‘exotic” looking woman or if they don’t say it they end up with one.
I am truly saddened by some of the things that go on in society….. Some people choose to hide from things they don’t want to believe exist. I on the other hand choose to talk about these things in hopes of stopping the madness. Black is beautiful in so many ways. We may never be able to completely stop the discrimination that happens outside of our race but we can start with fixing the discrimination that is within it.
Black women from birth are going against all odds. It’s seems like there is no win. But despite all those odds a black woman does often times win! Black men need to love a black woman that’s comfortable in her own skin. No matter what skin or form she chooses to cloak her skin in.
BLACK WOMEN KEEP YA HEAD UP
http://youtu.be/HfXwmDGJAB8
101 Comments
black women who complain about this but yet try to look white are idiots ..you really love being black i mean brown cause most of you are not black…..then stop trying to look white with your blonde weaves etc..foxy brown was a sexy symbol and she was natural black men loved that and still do it is you retards that have an issue with yourselves
no one will accept you if you do not accept yourselves
Hey guess who's up!
What school system did you go through Ken Ro? Your comprehension level is on par with a grade school child.
Ushers albums sales plummeting because of his regular black wife…ummmm dont agree with that!!
i do agree however that ppl do treat black beauty differently…not fair, but true
Also, jus because of one incident of a regular blk girl not gettn into a club strickly because shes regular looking…dont agree with that…
I lol'ed
Tameka wasn't regular, she was just plain ugly, and yes his album sales did plummet during his marriage because the substance in his music was not the same. I've seen plenty of white, mixed, and sisters not get into grade A clubs for many reasons. If you act regular you are perceived that way. You act too fly you are perceived as fake. Being humble but still maintaining your sexy will get you further than trying too hard. Getting in a club isn't a motivating feat, if that's one of your goals in life you need to be rewired.
why did you laugh Adrian?… @ Ken, well, the article mentions you a few times. @ Kissy, wow I can honestly say I've nevr been called "cute to be dark" and I was 25 the first time someone said "your gf is so beautiful. What is she mixed with?… and they didn't say it to my face. I'll. Never understand why beauty is defined by skin color.HAS ANYONE SEEN AN UGLY WHITE GIRL?… I guess not. But I have! There's ugly and beauty in every race. I'm glad I was born and raised in chicago… in chicago they know, there's beauty everywhere. But you make me wanna go to vegas with my natural coils so the bouncer won't let me in. I'd sue their ass for discrimination, and I don't want the money. Just the doors of all the clubs to be closed.
Thank you very much for this article Kissy.
@ Connie I am from Chicago and yes we know we are pretty no matter what skin color you are everything that looks good is not always good;)
"Foxy brown" natural black beauty! W all the weaves she wore! WOW.. If she's a natural black beauty" then so are all ghetto scanks! Cause men love her for all the skin she shows in
her scantily clad outfits – not for
Her "natural black beauty"
My damn phone is having a hard time loadin the article. All i see in these comments is usher and black girls….damn…i will read and comment…esp if usher is mentioned…might be late but i will comment………
People have tried to define beauty and its sad …because God said you are fearfully and wonderfully made…my personal opinion is that i may personally be attracted to a certain look but whom am I to define beauty when I didn't create it….God did
This is a wonderful piece! Thanks so much for sharing. As a sister who is what men would consider "a regular black woman", I appreciate everything you said. Maybe our race will start to change our notions of what beauty is and love each other no matter what the package comes in. Well said!
T.C. Galltin
Thank You for reading. Glad you enjoyed it.
BTW I DO NOT view Ushers wife as “a regular chick” showing lots of skin, and tons of makeup does not make you “the most beautiful” sorry! Being Beautiful means – looking flawless w out makeup… or very little! Beauty can wear just about anything an get attention! Beauty is humbling, subtle – yet everyone sees it and notices…. beauty is more than skin deep!!
I say ALL women are beautiful! You don’t have to be this or that, to be beautiful! And you can be drop dead on the outside, but UGLY to the bone… leave Tameka alone – I Like her! Usher chose wisely.
Nice response CHARLES
JANICE, he was speaking of the original FOXY BROWN…
Oh… I see! Carry on Then. But why do they let “fat white women” in? So if this is the case! Men would rather dance w, look at, potentially ask out a “fat white chick” over an “average, or slightly above average Black chick”???
Personally I would not want to go in a club that wouldn’t let me in because I’m a “regular black girl”. Is this really true? I have been to popular clubs in Vegas and NYC plenty of times and have seen women of shades and shapes. I will agree that I get tired on men that complain about weave then say how good some celebrity thats wearing a weave looks.
of all shapes and shapes*
Im not a night club person anyway – so It doesn’t matter to me much! However when I was, I had NO trouble getting in. I did read all of your article BTW – my comments above were in reference to Ken, an Giavanni! And just because some bouncer doesn’t let a women in because he deems her as “average” doesn’t make it so! I guess its all in the nightclub business, And their set standards for who to let in for free, or not. It does seem a bit discriminating though! Anyway… that’s my take on it. I see beauty allot different than most.
DC women at the club is a better look than Vegas. Even with our wack ass transplants included.
When are people going to realize it's not about what's on the outside, but rather the INSIDE that counts? This is a deep injustice that goes well beyond race or color. Who are we to decide what a "regular" black person looks like? The ones who are true to themselves are the ones that I have the utmost respect for. Those who are fake and feel the need to please should be considered "regular" as there seems to be so many. (I mean no disrespect for anyone by that comment).
I don't agree, I'm a regular black girl and people love me, white men, black men, Spanish men, even Asian men want to date me, it's about your attitude sorry, a lot of black women come off as rude with lots of attitudes when it's not really necessary to be like that, you don't have to be rude and mean to be viewed as the
the strong black women, having attitudes sometimes can be hard to to deal witht, I'm not saying we shouldn't be ourselves but we need to compromise and learn to speak and act according to where we are, respect others, just respect people and speak in a respectful way, be friendly, be respectful is key to me, it work for me, look at Michelle Obama her attitude and how she carries herself, how she is dress, we need to stop this ghetto shit, it's not cute at all.
The truth is Banita a lot of black women are not like that, we have to see the good and great in all of us. Black women have the world on thier shoulders and it soemtimes comes across in their attitudes and facial expressions.
wow that a nice article. I am a beautful black woman by all accounts especially mine because before anyone can consider me beautiful I have to consider me beautful. I know I turn head of all races but I have to admit I do get the "you are pretty for a chocolate girl" you are a pretty darkskinned girl. Number one, I am a woman and nothing on me suggest I am a girl other than my girlish facial features but I am built like a real woman, act like a real woman and carry my self like one. I am African pure and thats all. I don't think I am exotic but some do. I love all my sisters and never hate on them even when men gravitate to the lighter skinned ones, I am happy for them because those men are not for me.
also I am not sure fans hated Mrs. RAymond just for that, it was because she was married twice already, had many kids, was older than him, seemed to be jealous (the incident with Keri Hilson) insecure and was disliked by his own mother.
I must agree with this article!
[...] What is a "Regular" Black Girl? – Tameka Foster | AsK Kissy [...]
Or Vida..Eva..kim k…anna kournikova..jenn an lol
Sorry, I’m Not Sure What A Regular Black Girl Means… Cuz, To Me All Black Women Are Beautiful.
Can you fine some Black Women comfortable, with their own HAIR, I am so sick of seeing UGLY Chicks with Fake hair, and they think they look good,, and Fine ladys that don’t need the Fake crap,,
Share this post with all the black people you know.
This is an awesome post. When I was younger, I heard the ignorant statements. Overall I have come to learn that it's not about what's being said, but what you focus on. If you've paid attention, there's a lot of stuff people say, but only a few are worth really pausing and paying homage to in terms of listening. I'm not into nightlife, so I'm not tripping, but I do understand how irritating it can be to feel as if you're required to prove yourself or justify your worth. I say all you simply need to do, is remember the quality of man that's important … and the quality of people to be around — if they're worth your time these pains and asshole comments wouldn't need to be stated.
And yea, I'm a chocolate mami.
Thank You Lauryn Doll
ime sure you are !! very beautifull and comfortable in your own skin ?? and why should you not be any different ? why do you always have to bring colour of our skin into every conversation ??..i write statuses and never mentiion colour, race or religion ??
Boo hoo. Kissy is so wrong cause she left the white people out again. She is so wrong for speaking about her own race… SMH
boo hoo !! true ugly colours hey !!!! whoes being racist here then !!!
Child. I should not have to tell you that although I speak on a wide variety of topics and love people of all races I am still a black woman first. Why is that so difficult for you to understand?
If The Comment Ain’t For Your Race Why Do They Get Upset… I Had 4 White Men Today Wanna Be My Friend & When I Say I’m Not Interested In Being Your Friend Why Get Upset With Me… I Didn’t Come On Damn Page Looking For Friendship.
Because I am Black TOO,, and My Mother Did Her Hair And my sisters,,And Had a Job,,
people on a “WIDE VARIETY OF TOPICS “….. WILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT COLOUR YOU ARE CHILD ! i am white woman, and it dosn,nt bother me what colour skin you are in ? ???? whats ya problem ?? we aint got a problem with black people ??
Tameka Foster was my hero lol…divorcee with 3 kids, regular looking body, non-model and could still pull Usher? Still hope for us regular looking black girls ;o)
I mean I’m sorry if you feel left out Jane Roberts But I can’t stop being who I am in order to please everyone. Some posts will be specifically for my black audience because that is my background. Black People in general have a uplifting spirit. If I was a white woman constantly only speaking to white women I guess it would seem like I was racists towards other races So I understand where you are coming from. But it just is what it is sweetie. It may be difficult for you to understand how I could love all and yet still be a proud black woman, but that is what I am.
I can easily write about black issues because I’ve experienced these issues.. I can’t write about white women because I have not experienced living as a white woman.. I hope this better helps you understand @Jane
Are you talking about the Cartoon???White Girl??
OK I am going to sleep,,, Gnite Kissy,,Keep up the good work ,,with your FINE self..
Thank you Kissy for the love. Its not often to see a black woman giving love to other black women. I appreciate you sister!!!
Thank u Kissy….And like I said before…I love u and I am BLACK (DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS RACE THING KEEPS POPPING UP FOR) But there are days I don’t agree with u or your topics maybe….and I still come back for more…and I still love ya!! So, I guess alot of all that….”HATERATION” IS JUST THAT!!! #IJS…SOMEBODY HAS TO DO IT
i have never put you down ? yeah sure ,, and goog for you to be black …. no one put you down for that , and shame on them if they did ……. best get over your dislike of white women … we are in the 21st century … its bitches like you that carry on racism ?? evaluate your words thicko !
Boo hoo on some people sometimes…..thats why i luv Duke blue devils…..its a unface college level……
Just be ur self. beautifull woman has 3B. BRAIN, BEAUTY n BEHAVIOR.
can’t believe i’m being cursed out by a cartoon.. What is the world coming to??? Thanks for the love and support ladies.
@Jane Roberts ~ Bitches You Only On This Page Looking For A Black Man… Bitch
Lol……what
Lol……what
get back to licking the ” man in drags ass ” get me creepo ! ha haa ha
get back to licking the ” man in drags ass ” get me creepo ! ha haa ha
Yes A Damn Yellow Belly Face Cartoon… She Can’t Show Her Face Cuz She 400lbs.
Yes A Damn Yellow Belly Face Cartoon… She Can’t Show Her Face Cuz She 400lbs.
OMG! Wise words Kissy, please remind them that their skin is black because it is blessed from the Sunlight of the Universe. Black is awesome <3
OMG! Wise words Kissy, please remind them that their skin is black because it is blessed from the Sunlight of the Universe. Black is awesome <3
Thicko…….
Thicko…….
been brought up with black people !!!! u lot are a disgrace !
been brought up with black people !!!! u lot are a disgrace !
Don’t Get Me Started Cuz I’ve Had Enough Of You White Men Coming On My Damn Private Inbox TODAY. I Tried To Be Nice ~ I’m Not The One.
Don’t Get Me Started Cuz I’ve Had Enough Of You White Men Coming On My Damn Private Inbox TODAY. I Tried To Be Nice ~ I’m Not The One.
Wow……
Wow……
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wheres the coward !! oops !! i must emphazise ” the black one “” !!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!! with the mouth full of shit !!
wheres the coward !! oops !! i must emphazise ” the black one “” !!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!! with the mouth full of shit !!
Thank you Kissy.
i am white ,, and have no problem with the colour of my skin ???? black, asian ,indian ??? dosen,t bother me at all … i work 24 hours a day ?? you have a problem ???
yes i love that 2pac song keep ya head up.. kissy i understand what you’re trying to do and i applaud it. i come from a mixed up family and alot of that stuff goes on in my family.. ppl have to learn to be comfortable in their own skin and not worry what others will think of them.. we all need to be united cause we are damaged as divided ppl.
this bitch constantly bangs on about the colour of the skin ???? get over it luv ??? your black ? ime white ?.. who gives a fuck at the end of the day ??? we are all human beings ?………. with thoughts & feelings ?…. i work with black people … it dosen.t bother me at all !!!! i love them all the same ?? … colour … does not exist in my world ??? obviously it rules your world ??? thats real sad mate ?
I don’t think you understand, it’s not about harpering on race. She is speaking on not only what happens in the real world, but what happens within the black community. Kudos if black skin does not bother you, but in marketing, these things are looked at, including the way wants to be seen. I am one of those girls that are let in. While I’m not drop dead gorgeous, I have enough of an exotic look while still having that black look that makes the masses everywhere intrigued and to find me appeasing. In the same token, growing up in a all black community I was found to be ugly. I was not mixed and it was felt those types are pretty. I did not look like the other black girls and stood out, so I must be a freak of nature and I was treated that way.
If you really get what I am saying, it’s society puts a lot on looks, subconsciously that includes hair texture, skin color, and facial features. My own best friend has said in uncertain words that I cannot have dreadlocks and that she’s glad her race does not have to deal straightening her hair and that it looks normal. Nw I’m sure she didn’t think that was a bad comment, but as a person of an opposite race than her, I found it offensive. I never told her as I know she’s a true friend, but it was bad. I am sure you may have thoughts like that and not even think twice about it. The standard of beauty is set by te masses and us black girls are often selling our soul just to assimilate into it. It’s become such a norm to people like you that you don’t notice, but if the black people you knew showed up to a party at your house with how their natural hair is, Afro curls, stringing, curls, etc. Or even dreads, could you accept it as beauty. What if a girl with a short afro was in the Miss America pageant and was the most posed and talented one there, would she win?
@Jane Roberts ~ I Said She Was On Here Looking For A Black Man…
I’m ROTFLMBAO With Ms. Betty Boo aka Jane Roberts… Boy She Pissed At You Kissy… YOU GOOD, Cuz I Would Have Deleted The Bitch.
Jane, all kissy was talking about how society is so hard on black women. It has nothing against white people.
If Usher is no longer with Tameka, its his own loss. Kissy, must u answer all that Jane Roberts has to say? Just ignore her.I’m black and i know which blogs would benefit me. i think she should do the same. IJS
Wow, I'm so glad someone actually pointed this problem out. The same thing happens at fl night clubs. My college years were spent having a low self-esteem because I couldn't get into night clubs and was considered unattractive by society. great post
Wow, I’m so glad someone actually pointed this problem out. The same thing happens at fl night clubs. My college years were spent having a low self-esteem because I couldn’t get into night clubs and was considered unattractive by society. great post
I love everything that was said.
I love everything that was said.
It is crazy how society tends to treat black women! Well written!
Hmmm…would you consider this fairly accurate?
its fairly accurate…in the end its boils down to preference as far as looks goes but when you look at these places like New York, Vegas, Miami (its never a problem where I live) But I would never be able to get in some clubs there even if I paid 200 dollars…
I remember folks not liking Tameka because Usher's mama didn't like Tameka.
I would consider this most almost entirely accurate. It saddens me
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS TOPIC?
First off what is a regular girl didnt kno there was such a thing as a regular black girl
First off what is a regular girl didnt kno there was such a thing as a regular black girl
Yeah I get tired of these men who complain about weaves…..but last I checked they don't pay for it so I think they should stop bitching about it.
As far as exotic I get that more often then I would like. White men like a regular looking Black girl more often than the Black man would. They don't like ambiguity. If they are with a Black chick she is indeed Black. Very rare you even see them with a light skinned Black woman. Black men think are exercising their options to choose…..but are They REALLY doing the choosing or are they getting PICKED?
It's getting hard for an average Black girl to get love because the rest of the world is picking up on how little a lot of Black people think of themselves and of each other. Every other race/culture usually uplifts it's women and the men choose, marry and love the women of their race/culture. A nice percentage of our men abandon us and choose the women the other races don't want. They choose and love the undesirable of every other race (flashing red light of self-hate!) If you don't love and think highly of you and yours how can you expect someone else to? IJS