Jill Scott Vs. Chilli, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith. What is a Open Relationship with Kenya K Stevens
Recently Jill Scott and Chilli discussed open relationships on twitter. Jill Scott was open and willing to consider it and Chili was adamant that it was not cool and that a monagamous relationship was the only way to go.
Jada Pinkett and Will Smith have had a open relationship since day one of their marriage. Will said:
“Our perspective is, you don’t avoid what’s natural and you’re going to be attracted to people.” he says.
“And if it came down to it, then one would say to the other: ‘Look, I need to have sex with somebody. Now, I’m not going to if you don’t approve of it’.”
“In our marriage vows, we didn’t say ‘forsaking all others’. We said ‘you will never hear I did something afterwards’. Because if that happens the relationship is destroyed.”
I decided to get a woman’s side of the story. So I reached out to the authority on open relationships – Kenya K Stevens who is not only an expert on open relationships, but she is also in a open relationship. Kenya and her husband Carl Stevens are the pioneers of the Progressive Love Movement.
Ask Kissy: What is the definition of a open relationship?
Kenya: “The definition of an open relationship is one in which partners can show up as real people in the relationship sharing true feelings with one another as a form of deep intimacy and bonding. A sexually open relationship is one in which couples can not only be truthful, but act upon one’s personal truth by having other love partners and interests.”
Ask Kissy: What are the pros and cons of being in a open relationship?
Kenya: ”Some benefits – being authentic means you can live free and happy in life without feeling guilty about your feelings and actions.
Some cons – one has to be very mature and spiritually evolved to move beyond jealous feelings, but it can be done and my husband and I are proof of that.”
Ask Kissy: Are you truly happy being in a open relationship?
Kenya: ”I am truly happy in my open relationship and I would never go back to a monogamous lifestyle again. I was monogamous for 12 years with my husband and I wasn’t receiving everything I wanted, but it was ok. I was willing to settle as long as he was. But once we moved beyond fear and opened to a new way of life – an open lifestyle – we found our relationship got deeper with one another, we are more committed to staying together, we are closer friends and we are happier. I think we are happier because we know that everything we desire doesn’t have to come from our spouse, we can spread our desires around and get more people involved with our lives and happiness!”
Ask Kissy: What do you have to say about someone saying that a woman in a open relationship is being stupid or simply doing what her mate wants her to do?
Kenya: ”LOL! Besides the fact that they are crazy… I say they have lost touch with their sexuality. A woman craves WAY more sex than a man. I think we’ve forgotten how we usually feel if a man has sex with us for less than an hour or so. I want to have sex for long periods of time, and I want the man to always have fresh desire for me. Well, in a marriage, this isn’t always the case, especially after many many years… plus men and women like variety. Since when is it just men who want variety, since NEVER. Or maybe since Charles Darwin told the lie about women and our coy sexual attitude and virginally behavior.
Again, it is a proven scientific fact that women are turned on by a variety of sexual partners and acts, even more so than men! In a study done where men and women looked at a series of images, some animals having sex, lesbians, gays, hetero sex, kink, violent sex, so forth… WOMEN were turned on by most EVERY image while men were just turned on based on their sexual preference to the images of sex.
Women are hornier and needier for sex and attention than men. It also shows in the way we moan and hollar during sex louder than any man!
Needly to say, if a woman believes that a woman in an open relationship is stupid or has been hurt, then she is probably stupid or has been hurt, because a woman in an open relationship has usually taken full command of her sexuality and wears it like a MINK or a straight DIAMOND baby.“
WoW. Well dayum! (Gucci Mane voice) That last statement says a lot. I think a open relationship may be a good thing. It invites in honesty. It has to be better knowing versus someone doing it behind your back. A marriage is still pretty much a commitment to someone and having sex outside the marriage does not mean that you are no longer committed when in a open relationship. I imagine it has to be tough to work out the jealousy issues. Maybe these two couples and others like them know something that the rest of us don’t know. Both couples have been together for over 10 years and have beautiful families. With the divorce rate being as high as 50%, may be this is something society needs to consider. It appears that this may be love without all of the traditional conditions attached to it. i.e. Unconditional Love.
I have witnessed Kenya’s joy in her relationship and if I didn’t know the facts I would think that is was Kenya who brought up the subject of a open relationship instead of her husband being the initiator. Kenya is always smiling and seems to live comfortably on cloud nine. Frankly she stays in Bliss.
After reading this article What’s your take on a open relationships – Would you be willing to try it? Are open relationships the key to the “till death due us apart dilema?”
Check Out Kenya and Carl on The Monique Show:
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First and formost, i love jill scott, shes got that voice and talent that no one can replace. but, when you look at an entertainer their lifestyle is 100% different before they became famous. first, they are well known celebrities, second for singers and rappers i do believe at some point that whoever they are with that when they are away for months at a time, that, they will lay down with whoever comes along, and their spouces/girlfriends/boyfriends/fionce’s basically know the deal when they got into the relationship in the first place and dont know but they are in an open relationship. thats my opinion.
well I must say honestly you are not going to find EVERYTHING you are looking for in 1 person
and sex does not make the marriage stick, so if persons who are commenting against this
are thinking the sex is going to stay on point as the years tick by ummm uh hellz naw
that move you love today will get old 10yrs from now
and unless you and your mate are open-minded and down to try new things together (which i seriously doubt)
then sex is gonna die someone is going to cheat and then it will be Mr,Mrs&the side Mistress lol
which the wife may not know about in the beginning (there goes the honesty and respect)
and once she do find out she may stay (while creeping on the side too)
which in turn both parties are cheating and creeping when all they had to do is…
come to an understanding/agreement and have an open relationship/marriage
smh ppl and their fantasy marriages
Very disappointing. Just another out for "natural" selfishness, immaturity and irresponsibility.
I Believe if you follow the Lord He will guide you & Allow you to see the Lies through false truths & blasphemy! I am not a bible toting individual but I ask the Lord everyday to give me "SIGHT" with so many things around us that tell us WRONG is RIGHT. It is a battle & it takes a strong character to say NO, I will not do that because I don't BELIEVE in that. NO, I will not ACCEPT that based on statistic numbers. NO, I will not LIVE that because YOU found a way to not be ashamed of it
to fulfill your wants & desires. I am very shocked that Will & Jada have that kind of relationship. I heard Jada mention it on the View & just couldn't believe it. I love Will Smith & was very disappointed. There is too much hype circling around about the quick splits of celebs. Celebs are not the basis of everyday peoples' relationships. The attention being brought to the statistic # of divorce rates in our society is causing doubt towards marriages actually WORKING. It's become a selfish ALL about me & not about you match. Union is not solo it is together.
Its a silly excuse to cheat.U mst fnd all the qualities u need in one person otherwise dont get commited if u cnt commit.
Open relationships/ marriages are a bunch of bullcrap. Why get married then? Just keep dating and don’t commit to anyone. There are too many diseases out there to be fooling around and if I’m with someone I only want them not some random dudes I meet.
The lady you interviewed said you have to be mature for an open relationship I say you have to be mature to be monogomous, saying vows to your spouse on your wedding day and then having sex with random people just because you are attracted to them dosen’t sound mature to me.
Well I have to say its very interesting. Although opening relationship works for them but what good for the goose ain’t for the masses. What I say is we are all entitled to our opinion. But still your majesty very interesting
@Tanya good question cuz I wanna know too
Don’t really Care! So what! Just saying
What happens if children are produced outside the relationship, how open would you still be?
we would enjoy the abundance which is the natural expression of the universe.
Evolve. Open relationship is a viable option. Most people sleep with a great many people anyway.
if there were far more open relationships, there would be no poverty, no war, no lack anywhere on the planet.
The free expression of energy.
energy
NO…if a couple has enuf respect for each other, the thought of “sharing” their significant would never work…
I love Jill Scott. I will officially volunteer to be her………. whatever she wants. She is my big girl crush. lol
I’m wondering if Chilli talked some sense in Jill head. There is nothing like your self respect
i wouldnt mind. but i wont. not w/ my man + his jealous, possesive self! lol
Why should u be married or dating if u are going to have a open relationship?
I TOTALLY believe in OPEN relationships many people are in them but just don't know it. I hate to be lied to and when you hid things that is where unexpected babies & diseases come in. If you are open & honest you put on a condom because you are not dilutional. Great interview Kissy!
^5 ok i sooo get it
but open relationships are deemed acceptable by the "majority"
so yea
and like you said many people are in open relationships and just dont know it because they "claim" they know so much
ha
and of course if you know upfront that 1 or both partners are sleeping with others you are going to take extra precautions to protect yourself vs thinking you are the only one when in all actuality you arent and possibly never were
Lmbo @Douze lmbo u silly but I feel ya
&@Necole…HELLO!!!!
Absolutely not. I have a slight jello touch&I just may wanna play butcher one day…lol. I'm selfish&dont like sharing. That's why I got married. Keep your hands off&back away from MY dick! Lol
I choose to be wit one woman in a exclusive, and closed relationship.
@Nicole I agree with you 100 percent. Mrs. Stevens talked a good talk I must say Kissy but how is it that she only spoke about having sex to justify being in an open relationship. Is that all it's about having SEX with different people besides your spouse cuz if it is WHY DID THEY GET MARRIED?