Yesterday this young gentleman was telling me a few traits about myself and he sent me some bible link references. I read the links and came across something that really hit me PRIDE.. Although the article was about humility.
It made me realize that I have too much pride. All my life I have spent it trying to do everything by myself. I will admit that has not always worked out best for me. In general as a black woman I know that my environment raised me to be self sufficient and not need a man for anything. It made me always feel like if I wanted something or needed something I had to do it or get it by myself.
As I grew older and took some pride in my appearance people started to look at me like a person that had money. Slowly as I got older I accepted people’s perceptions of me and thought I’m supposed to have money. Never once, did I say that I had it, nor did i refute the claims. My pride wouldn’t let me.
Pride has made me always want to be the best. To always compare myself to others who are doing much better than me. It has made me reach for things people around me deemed unattainable. It has caused me to be the woman I am today, who knows who and what she is. It has caused me to be suceessful at many things. But, with so much pride and comparing myself, rarely have I gave myself credit or taken time to appreicate myself and my many talents… Pride would not allow me to do these things.
Being this way has almost caused me to be a social recluse. In always doing everything on my own most of my relationships were with people who were of no use to me. Men and female friends. Seeing as to how I could do everything by myself I never understood the importance of having beneficial people around me. I didn’t even understand the importance of having people around you in general….
I now realize that had I not had so much pride, had I reached out and asked for help when I needed it a lot of things and situations would of never occurred.
For instance me dealing with men who I didn’t mind taking care of. My super independent mindset caused me to think and feel more like a man. Which enabled me to date men who did not have bigger balls than me.
Had I not been so prideful I would of surrounded myself by useful people. What’s even worse is that I have always thought you should be useful to people, so I made myself useful to everyone in my life…
It’s time for some changes in my life. I know that this change may finally take me to my desired destiny.
My point of writing this is for other super independent women to wake up. Stop trying to do everything by yourself. It’s a struggle because God meant for humans to need one another. That is what life is all about. Women need men and men need women.
I often quote Kanye and some people don’t like it because they don’t understand him (Not saying I do). Kanye West has a quote that says “If you can’t be used you are useless.” It sounds so mean. But it’s 100% rooted in truth.
Two months ago when I was trying to get this website up and having difficulty with my webdesigner (bish azz ninja) I was really on the verge of tears because I wanted my website up so badly. So I broke down and did something I had never done before. I reached out to the Universe and asked for help. And you know what. It sent me a savior. The man who came to my aid has helped me in so many ways. I call him my Web Angel.
I regretted not reaching out and asking for help earlier. I’m just talking about my website, but this works in every other aspect of life. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help. God will punish you for having too much pride. Life will punish you for it too. Ladies, there is nothing good about being a independent woman who doesn’t need anyone… Everyone needs someone. You can get a lot further by enlisting help.
Not having too much pride is all apart of being humble. The less proud you are the better you are able to enjoy life.
Whatever we want in life. It is necessary that we first look within ourselves to make that change.
41 Comments
I tried to post on the website but it wouldn't let me even though I was signed in.
So tru
Agree…humbleness is a good thing!
Thanks for reading
KISSY~~ THis is beautiful~~so well said…this is what I'm talking bout.! We are not supposed to be independent…A guy called me independent the other day and I was a lil pissed..that is a lie…I need my family I need my friends and I need a man who is going to support me and need me for support..not only do I need people I need people to need me…I LOVE THIS!
wow kissy hows that for REALITY BITES..i applaud you…that took guts now thats the side of pride people need to reacqiunte themselves with HUMBLENESS.you are supposed to take pride in yourself your presentation….not use pride to turn your nose up at people..your growing as a human being sis congratulations.
I can relate Sis!! Very well said!! Being humble is a blessing!
This is more than just pride, its that independent spirit that we don't use the right way. There is a time for everything and sometimes you need to be indepedent and other times you need to let others assist you. My cousins (male and female) had this discussion this weekend. The female (cousins) were trying to do everything ourselves, including lifing tables, chairs, etc when they male (cousins) were right there. All we had to do was ask. My older male cousin finaly said to me, sit back and let the men do what they are supposed to do. It felt weird serving up orders and watching people move to those orders. I am CEO of two companies and in that role its natural to be both independent and give out orders but in my personal life, I want and strive to do everything because I feel weak allowing someone else to do it for me. thanks Kissy.
I tried to post on the website but it wouldn’t let me even though I was signed in.
Great Blog so much love for you…we all should look in the mirror each day..great job LADY
Agree…humbleness is a good thing!
I just came back to read this personal blog of your and somehow it touch my heart when you mention humbleness. Pride is what got us into this mess we are in today. I’m glad to say that I personally love this blog and keep up the good work, kissy.
God bless
@Kissy, I compliment you on a well written article with lots of truth when it comes to “Pride”, which is one of the deadly sins. This took courage to reflect within and share; it should makes all prideful male/female individuals to do some serious soul-searching ~ Starting With Me…
Yasssss! RT @KissyDenise Diary of a Independent Black Woman http://bit.ly/qqVgcP
Amen…you are all up in my kitchen because that was me after the ex before the husband who is a bishop ninja soon To be ex-husband!
Great pic Kissy love the natural look to,also article was dead on, pride will destroy,most prideful people don’t want anyone holding paper on them about anything.Life is to short enjoy it to the fullest..
Very nice! We should ALWAYS remain humble Kissy, no matter WHERE life takes us. Being independent is great. Interdependence greater… it is how the world works! I live by this ‘what he giveth, he can taketh’ forever remaining humble. And NEVER ever forget where it is you come!!
For w/out many people, and Jesus – I wouldn’t be where I am. I am not to proud to admit that. Many things I accomplished on my own, and many more w/ others along side me. I am grateful and thankful for all my life experiences.. Good and bad- they are what shaped me to be who I am today! I used to be the same way, However, being humble has never left me…that I think I owe to God! But the idea That “I don’t need anyone else” was never a good place for me to be. And I am so happy to say I buried that woman many yrs ago! We are human, WE; all of us, were made for each other. Happy you’ve finally had your awakening!
great blog
great blog
great blog
great blog
great blog
great blog
Diary of a Independent black woman http://bit.ly/qqVgcP
Diary of a Independent black woman http://bit.ly/qqVgcP
Diary of a Independent black woman http://bit.ly/qqVgcP
Kissy, you are the greatest, period. Even though I tend to agree with your opinions only about 40-50% of the time, you have such a way of putting things that I am still able to get the point of what you are presenting and I could never hate on ya. Please keep it up, and I wish you all the best in your personal journey, humility is good for us all. Take care.
Thank You. I appreciate that warm compliment.
Nothing’s PRIVATE Online… NOTHING.
I still write my thoughts down the old fashion way pen and paper… I am like Prima Donna…nothing is private online.
Great idea!
Gee! Kissy you sure look kissable in that pic, drools!!!<3
I noticed that your writing skills have improved tremendously. But in thinking like a Business professional, having a personal blog away from askkissy.com will change the dynamics of your longevity. Consider adding a page title “from the author/publisher” or something like that. Then use that page to express your inner thoughts. Remember when you were on the ground floor trying to launch this site, it took time to get established. Use this brand and keep it as your treasure.
Just a little to consider.
Richard That is a Excellent Idea. Thank You VERY much <3
I’m not a big fan of him either but I love the Kanye quote…“If you can’t be used you are useless” This says a lot in very few words.
I feel like u r directly talking to me………thank you so much for this blog.
I feel like u r directly talking to me………thank you so much for this blog.
Nothing personal should be kept. That’s why we have blogs to express ourselves and so far you’re doing a great job of being an open minded person that bloggers are meant to be, kissy. For each blog you post people will read and follow it. Keep up the good work, kissy.
Thanks for share a little bit of your self with a world of unknowns. Who knows where God will take you next! Your words , thoughs, ideas, and blogs express what’s going on around us.. And your not afraid to say or ask/answer the question! Stretch out and keep it moving!
very true… i see this in alot of men and women,, goin all “i dont need a man/woman”,, its self destructive and isolates you, even from the people that care about you the most or vice versa..