17 Jul 2011
Posted by Miss Kissy 
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Choose the wrong mate and you may as well lay next to a boa constrictor. A smart woman learns how to choose her mate wisely! Most women learn how to choose a man the hard way; they go through a gut wrenching string of emotionally detached males, jerks, pimps, thugs and players. Choosing those types and hoping for the best is like falling into water filled with piranhas and expecting them not to eat you.
Don’t become one of those heart broken and bitter women! Learn how to properly choose a mate before it’s too late! The woman in the mirror will graciously thank you. Good men are everywhere. You have to learn how to spot them.
15 Traits That a Good Man will Display
#1 – Ask a man what his vision is…his purpose for his life. If he either can’t answer or gets offended at the question, he isn’t ready. No man needs a partner when there is no assignment. Sometimes women try to give men a vision, but this vision is something he must have on his own. Only then may he need a woman help his bring his vision into fruition.
#2 – He states that he wants to be in a committed relationship. No matter how good you cook, clean, pamper him or sex him if he is not ready to be in a relationship NOTHING you do will change that. If he says he is only looking for friends he means that.
#3 - Ask him about the previous women in his life (his mother, his sisters and his Ex). If the word “bitch” shows up anywhere in the conversation, let him go. If it’s clear his mother’s opinion will mean more than yours, let him go. He must be ready and able to “leave” the past to be able to “cleave” to you.
#4 - A man that has any intentions of being a good mate to you does not pressure you for sex when he meets you. You are not a car; if you meet a man who wants to test drive your physical body, emotions and feelings, point him to a car dealership, bid him adios and don’t look back!
#5 - Ask him whom he admires. Ask him why. If his answers are admirable people, you’re fine. Men aspire to become like the men they respect. If he doesn’t have anyone he looks up to, he doesn’t have anyone he’s afraid to disappoint. (“Jesus” is NOT an acceptable answer.) Every man needs someone in his life whom he doesn’t want to let down. If he still says “no one” then I’d be concerned that he’s too full of pride to be a good leader. If he says he admires Bishop Don Magic Juan or Pimpkin Ken then surely you can’t expect that he will treat you well.
#6 - Ask him what he sees in YOU. It’s okay if his first answer speaks to your allure – men are visual. However, he must see some of who God has created you to be in order to relate to you properly. He will not protect what he does not value. Being a protector is a big part of what you want in a good man.
#7 - He keeps his promises. If your potential mate does such things as: promises to call you but doesn’t, makes dates and breaks them, shows up late or plays games with your emotions; take notes ladies… those are clear cut warning signs that he DOES NOT value you, he DOES NOT love you and he DOES NOT care about you! A good black man is a man of his word. He says what he means and means what he says. His word is his bond. Pages: 1 2
See More of the Male Model/Photo Credit: Keston Karter
156 Comments
Why must a woman define what a good man is?
now that some muscle
yesss im mad!! lol :p im latino tho
You anticipate right. This will make for some lively debate.
You’re right, Kissy – I don’t completely agree with this…And any time you cite Steve Harvey as source material, you’re already on the wrong end of the beam. I promise a detailed take on each point, but it won’t be now. It’ll require some work on my part.
Well, I agree. I introduced my wife to my mother when we were dating. I said Mom, I like you to meed my girlfriend….. I later found out that she was testing me. I was just shocked. If a man is true to his woman and their relationship, then I dont see him getting angry over this topic.
#11 is some Bull Shiggatty LOL @ F Steve Harvey as any kind of source! LOL
I like this one Kissy..it might works for honkeys too Lolol!!!’
Now when are you going to do a topic about women who had a good man and messesd it up? I got some info for ya! LOL
Lol @Honkeys.
Thanks Kissy. This was a great article. I get tired of men proclaiming that they are good men just because they have an education, job, house and car. There is so much more to it than that.
LMAO. It’s actually not a raced based article at all. But putting black it it helps with the search engines..
I’m a good man, I’m just single,lol
Well I read it & not vexed by it at all. This black has alot of the good qualities from what I was able to see…. I aintz perfect but I am far from a bad man.. When I have a woman she knows love & that I love her(single now tho) (~_*)
Thanks for sharing ms Kissy so what it’s from steve Harvey like these bs-ing men are saying fact is he’s married for ages & probably happily at that. Good day to you Kissy.
I was jus buggin Kissy lol..but it was a list of qualities a decent con artist could portray
I especially like #5 because this is so true…bc if a man isn’t doing right u may could say that person they admire and they may straighten up instantly bc they want 2 keep a good image to that person!
Well the votes are in. The women like it.. I’m happy
I really appreciate everyone reading and sharing it. I hope some men are able to look at this and help themselves become better men.
KEITH, write it and submit it
ok
Now this has the be the first article that I totally agree with, all 15 points are very good ones!!
Why wasn’t there names listed of the single men included..who practice this? it wud have made it alot easier for me 2 find “the one”..lol. Cuz alot of these men i’ve met out here are strait BOGUS! #jusmyopinion
This is going to strike up debate most likely because a woman is describing what attributes contribute to the making of a good man…I agree with most points made here, of course a man’s actions determine his thoughts I’m sure this is akin with women also I don’t actually believe that women and men are as different from each other as some would have us believe most of the points on the list could easily be transposed to reflect a man’s points for a good woman….one thing however could a man do the same as you Kissy and describe what makes a good woman without being ridiculed, laughed at & berated for his opinions??? I think not…
Fb shld hv a luv button.
I totally agree. I think you could use all 15 on women too to see if they aint worth 2 flies smashed together.
Two things that I disagree with. If you would have asked me who I looked up to when I was younger I probably couldn’t answer, partial because of how and were I was raised. Also me and my wife were together for 10 yr before we got married. Everything else I could vouch for.
15 Signs of A Good Black Man | AsK Kissy http://fb.me/17qLk4W4U
I'm impressed with your list Kissy. I think this might be the first thing you've posted that I totally agree with completely. One thing I would like to suggest though. I think you should clarify for some people who are too concrete or black and white in the way they percieve an exacting list like this. What I think should be clarified is the fact that no one person is perfect. I believe each one of these requirements can be found in one single person however that person still will not fully display what each individual requirement requires. Do you agree?
that guy is brown..brown is not black our folks need to go back to the first grade and learn colors lol
great blog!
Ask Kissy Post | 15 Signs That He Must Display to Be considered a GOOD BLACK man http://bit.ly/q89rSU
Ask Kissy Post | 15 Signs That He Must Display to Be considered a GOOD BLACK man http://bit.ly/q89rSU
Ask Kissy Post | 15 Signs That He Must Display to Be considered a GOOD BLACK man http://bit.ly/q89rSU
Ask Kissy Post | 15 Signs That He Must Display to Be considered a GOOD BLACK man http://bit.ly/q89rSU
I am with everything except #11. There’s no RIGHT involved it’s a pleasantry and an honor for a man to pay your way. When you expect or demand it it’s a transaction not a favor. This is a traditional role that has persisted beyond what it should have because it’s beneficial to ladies. If you’re stuck on being equal be stuck on paying at least half.
Great information
Lmao@ travis
Lilly, I have rarely let a woman pay for a meal or whatever… it’s really rare. HOWEVER, if I feel she DEMANDS it…. She’s assured that she will be paying her own way. That’s almost like us DEMANDING some @ss after we have paid. That’s just as tacky.
Travis all high caliber women make demands and have high expectations. Most people DEMAND that their date has 2 legs. It is such a demand that it does not need to be discussed and if said date doesnt have two legs they will more than likely be turned down WITHOUT discussion of why. So keep that in mind. Some of us even DEMAND to be treated well..
Thank You Jeffrey. I appreciate that coming from you. I can see that you are a man of high intellect!
Some men DEMAND some ass. Doesn’t mean they get it. Such issues need not be discussed as well. If you feel like eating lobster you must feel like getting freaky. See how expectations of “niceties” get out of control quickly? The only thing that should be expected is being pleasent and the mutual exchange of time and attention. You want to be a modern female… be prepared to use modern technology (ie a CREDIT CARD)
lol Ask so if a rich black nigerian good looking prince lost a leg in a car accident you would not date him lol..i be if a supermodel had a fake leg there be a million guys still wanting to date her lol
..never ceases to amaze me how ladies think men should pay for their time and attention. Courting has its roots in a dowry. When you married a woman you got MONEY from the family which is why you paid her way until you got married. Nowadays ladies don’t have anything financial they want to bring to the table (or their families) They don’t even pay for the marriage ceremony. So they trade on how big their T&A is. Later for that.
Hell some ladies don’t even have good credit! #nowwhat?!
RT @BeautyOverBooty Ask Kissy Post | 15 Signs That He Must Display to Be considered a GOOD BLACK man http://bit.ly/q89rSU
@travis I get you’re point you’re not saying that you won’t pay but at the same time you don’t want the woman to demand but its funny that you said its like a transaction..lmao….@ kissy I get you’re point as well my mother raised me to believe that a man should be a provider but I must first have my own before I can demand that someone else provide it for me..
Lilly that’s exactly what I am saying. I resent the notion that during the courting phase a man should pretend like he brings nothing to the table save a wallet. Because if that’s the case women SHOULD act as if all they bring to the table is a big butt and a smile. Relationships, courting should be much more than this. Perpetuating a old fashioned practice is only equitable when all other practices are observered. Otherwise it’s just BS (and we all know it)
Some men will always court women differently. Others will always court women properly and end up with the woman they want. Too many people date as if they are dating themselves. You always have to understand what the other person wants and what they find value in. Doing it your way does not always work… Compromise..
http://www.askkissy.com/2011/07/17/15-signs-that-he-must-display-to-be-considered-a-good-black-man/
@Kissy…. u hv da key ma’ lady… I love ur style.
Ask K Post | 15 Signs of a GOOD black Man http://bit.ly/q89rSU
Ask K Post | 15 Signs of a GOOD black Man http://bit.ly/q89rSU
Ask K Post | 15 Signs of a GOOD black Man http://bit.ly/q89rSU
Ask K Post | 15 Signs of a GOOD black Man http://bit.ly/q89rSU
RT @KissyDenise: Ask K Post | 15 Signs of a GOOD black Man http://bit.ly/q89rSU
RT @KissyDenise: Ask K Post | 15 Signs of a GOOD black Man http://bit.ly/q89rSU
@Kissy ~ These 15 Signs Has Male/Female Bent Out Of Shape… LOL Last Night I Had A FB Profile Middle-Finger Man From Indiana Whose Name Ain’t Worth Mentioning Want To Rag On My Name, Prima Donna.
I need 1000 FaceBook Shares on this article. It took me a very long time to write it so I’ll be happy with 1000… http://fb.me/18vChL3K0
I support you I really do But men get no play …I did like your page..because pretty females gets plaay on my page LOL. Jkjk.
Every black man on twitter needs 2 read this!! 15 Signs of a GOOD Black man http://bit.ly/nchehA
Every black man on twitter needs 2 read this!! 15 Signs of a GOOD Black man http://bit.ly/nchehA
Every black man on twitter needs 2 read this!! 15 Signs of a GOOD Black man http://bit.ly/nchehA
Every black man on twitter needs 2 read this!! 15 Signs of a GOOD Black man http://bit.ly/nchehA
I shared the article with my friends Im waiting for some feedback … great info Kissy
finally something you can really pull from and use when you bump into these men out here ..because some of them are really sharks
Thank You Wendy and Elsa. <3
This is a great article, Kissy. But here’s my biggest gripe: WHY EXACTLY IS “JESUS” NOT AN ACCEPTABLE ANSWER!? FOR MOST OF MY LIFE, HE CERTAINLY WOULD BE MY FIRST RESPONSE AS FAR AS A **MALE** I LOOK UP TO. My dad, uncles, etc. were horrible as role models, and the only others I look up to are my mom and two friends from high school who kept me outta all the trouble I could’ve got into then.
As for the thing about a guy paying being a woman’s “right to expect”, what the deuce!? How so? While it’s true that a man should do for a woman, having her expect that is rather point-defeating: he does it because he wants to, not because he has to. To each his/her own, though. It’s just something I don’t agree with.
“Gold-digger”: Last I heard, this was a term to describe the kind of women who were overly materialistic and concerned solely with what she could get out of a man or anyone else. When did it get to where men used it to stop women from asking for anything!?
Apart from that, it’s a great article. Just a little bit to think on, though.
RT @BeautyOverBooty: Every black man on twitter needs 2 read this!! 15 Signs of a GOOD Black man http://bit.ly/nchehA
They still wont get a good man,tho:Every blackman&woman on twitter needs 2 read this!! 15 Signs of a GOOD Black man http://bit.ly/nchehA
Good job Kissy…I’m sharing this online and offline thanks.
Thanks Ada <3
RT @KissyDenise: I need 1000 FaceBook Shares on this article. It took me a very long time to write it so I’ll be happy with 1000… http://fb.me/18vChL3K0
Flattered you said my Name
…your welcome;)
Great topics in general for any man to follow. It’s what defines and seperates the men from the boys.
Well I agree with it lady today are end up in bad with a man for so long and go know where with him also there are some women saying there are no good man out there when they are. U just look over them
I have have a daughter and would not have her settle for anything less.
just for you kissy,i'll share it
You know the right kind of woman can get a man to do most if not all those things without saying much.
i finally found one!
Why ain't u married to one of these three men then?
A black clone robot man with remote control…..
A few people wrote me and told me this list was unrealistic (men)LADIES, I just want to tell u that this list was… http://fb.me/19Wo18pWU
@DocFoxy Not too much for the brothas… http://bit.ly/q89rSU
Well I agree with it lady today are end up in bad with a man for so long and go know where with him also there are some women saying there are no good man out there when they are. U just look over them
I have have a daughter and would not have her settle for anything less.
just for you kissy,i’ll share it
You know the right kind of woman can get a man to do most if not all those things without saying much.
i finally found one!
Why ain’t u married to one of these three men then?
gd stuff 4 men
it’s odd folk would say that. I went down the list w/my man in mind & everything added up #gofigure #waitedlongenoughthough
like serges comment. But not every good man/woman is the right one for you.
#more thoughts just reread the list. It’s actually quite basic & doesn’t even touch any of the extra sweet benefits of a good man…a good person really. Witg the exception of a few points my bff wld make the list too…she intros me as her bff, she keeps promises, doesn’t abuse me etc
15 Signs that He Must Display to be considered a GOOD Black man http://bit.ly/q89rSU
I ain’t hating. I went down these traits and I fit all of them or so I hope my wife would say I do. And I read Steve Harvey’s book too and it was very informative into what men need and what women seek. All I am saying is, if you’ve found em’ ladies, lock him up.
Yay! Men that fit the list!!
Sorry too……
Okay i developt a great deal of respect for you….but how does a woman go about finding and keeping these types of men
Im gonna tell you why in my opinion she is not maried to any of those three men, since she delightfully deflated your question@serge …..1 men like that are rarely in cupids market, so most likely they are taken 2 she has a vision to be a multi millionaire(billionaire). She is now focused on her greater goal, her destiny. Surely she is not ready for love….once she achieve financial freedom she could focus on such matter which would only slow her down
15 SIGNS OF A GOOD BLACK MAN http://bit.ly/nchehA
RT @PrettyVegasGyrl: 15 SIGNS OF A GOOD BLACK MAN http://bit.ly/nchehA
Any man that fits the 15 qualities on this list holler at me.. Real Talk http://bit.ly/q89rSU
Any man that fits the 15 qualities on this list holler at me.. Real Talk http://bit.ly/q89rSU
RT @CupCakeDebb: RT @PrettyVegasGyrl 15 SIGNS OF A GOOD BLACK MAN http://bit.ly/nchehA <<<Great article!! #9 #RealShit
RT @PrettyVegasGyrl: Any man that fits the 15 qualities on this list holler at me.. Real Talk http://bit.ly/q89rSU
If you never post another thing….This was probably the most informative/ insightful read. Thanks a lifetime.
Cool article, provided to me by @Coach__Green…thanks homes!
15 SIGNS OF A GOOD BLACK MAN http://bit.ly/nchehA
RT @TheGirlWithGuns: Cool article, provided to me by @Coach__Green…thanks homes!
15 SIGNS OF A GOOD BLACK MAN http://bit.ly/nchehA
RT @BlkSportsOnline: You quote Steve Harvey, makes list invalid RT @KissyDenise: 15 SIGNS He Must Display 2 Be Considered A Good BLACk Man http://bit.ly/nchehA
RT @BlkSportsOnline: You quote Steve Harvey, makes list invalid RT @KissyDenise: 15 SIGNS He Must Display 2 Be Considered A Good BLACk Man http://bit.ly/nchehA
RT @BlkSportsOnline: You quote Steve Harvey, makes list invalid RT @KissyDenise: 15 SIGNS He Must Display 2 Be Considered A Good BLACk Man http://bit.ly/nchehA
RT @BlkSportsOnline: u quote Steve Harvey, makes list invalid 15 SIGNS He Must Display 2 Be Considered A Good BLACk Man http://bit.ly/nchehA
RT @KissyDenise 15 SIGNS That He Must Display 2 Be Considered A Good BLACk Man http://bit.ly/nchehA
RT @KissyDenise: 15 SIGNS That He Must Display 2 Be Considered A Good BLACk Man http://bit.ly/nchehA
so when the 15 signs she's a good woman coming out? Yeah, I didnt think so…
Acting like any of these traits above is gonna get you dissed unless the woman is fat or old and past her prime.
[...] Don’t forget to check out my blog The 15 Traits of a Good Black Man [...]
Love # 13, 13 says it all…
Quoting a thrice married Bible-pushing mangina? Fail!
[...] I do not believe this rumor is true. If it is this might cause a complete end to the open relationship thoughts… Besides I just featured Will in my 15 Signs of a Good Black Man article. [...]
The sad thing is that rather than being helpful, this will lead to a lot more game playing and finger pointing. Women are gonna' looking for signs to dis' a brotha. So it'll be like "Oooh, girl, did you hear that? He introduced you using your NAME! Guess you don't mean nothing to him." Th reality is that here is no short cut. Yes there are standards but you know those. How does he treat you? How does he treat others? Does he live up to his obligations? Is he honest in his dealings? How does he make you feel about yourself? These things all take time to find out. Invest in the time and you will know.
that was agood article.
Thanks Babe.
that was agood article.
Thanks Babe.
this makes alot of sense. AMEN..
So true!! Thanks for sharing:)
So true!! Thanks for sharing:)
this makes alot of sense. AMEN..
I agree!
I agree!
Congrats. You getting them numbers! I need to advertise with you yo
Congrats. You getting them numbers! I need to advertise with you yo
Some women don’t have or never had a relationship with their dads, so how will they know how to relate to a man or know what a real man is ??? just saying ?????????
All smiles right now your majesty …..
All smiles right now your majesty …..
Well done kissy
You can give a black women four hour power point on what a good black man is. Put them in a room with 100 good black men. And she will still find that dog ass nigga. And love him to death. And in the end, there are no good black men around, in her eyes.
i drink to that<3
Not sure if he’s a good black man, but he sure is a fine one.
Kissy you must stop using this photoshoped pic,I give you permission to use my untouched stud picture co charge baby..
Girl he is hot like fire!!!
Food for thought!
hey there ma sexy lady, hope u like black men, if u do add me and u wont regret
Food for thought!
GREAT ARTICLE…
GREAT ARTICLE…
#.5 being THOSE abs!
@Danielle: OKAY???!
That is soooo true.
That is soooo true.
That is soooo true.
Lucky and Blessed Am I….several struck home as I know how it felt experiencing them.
Some of this is bullshit, and steve harvey is in place to give relatioship advice
They dont want a good black man, they want the man featured on this page, a great body good looks. They dont care if he cannot form a complete sentence, they dont care if he drinks and smokes like a drunk salor. Thy dont care if he has multiple children and a dead beat. They dont care if he had charges or been in prison. They dont care if he talks and walks with no integrity. They dont care, why because they want to impress their girlfriends who in the same boat. I square after 40 years living, I realize that being a good black and black women do not exist in their eyes. All they see is looks and money. Any black men who read this knows I am telling the bald face truth.
[...] HEAR ABOUT Barack and Michelle’s first date in detail CLICK HERE WRITTEN BY: MISS KISSY:: Queen of Answers | Goddess of Life | Purveyor of Truth | Half Geek, Half [...]
I love this article and that man Keston is so fine.