QUESTION:
I am trying to figure out how to date! I am SO tired of attracting men
that just want sex. Grant it, I’m young but I attract older or married
men that just want sex! I am so TIRED of it! Should I tell men straight up I want more, so I won’t waste time?!?
ANSWER:
Chances are if you are meeting alot of older men and married men who just want sex from you that means you are pretty sexy and have a desire to get married.. You attract what you are, your desire to be married is what attracts these married men to you. You being overly sexy is what makes these men strictly want to have sex with you.
Most people would tell you that it is your clothes. You could be dressing too sexy. You could so happen to exude a lot of sex and need to cover it up a bit. These men are not taking you seriously because you are not allowing them to. 
While it really sucks that you have to dress a certain way to trick a man into believing you are a crisp angelic woman it must be done. The more you cover up the better of a woman you are to a man.. You could of had 10 orgies in college but as long as you cover up and say you are GOD fearing you will be all right with him. (As long as he doesn’t know about your past)
See what I am getting at is everything is about perception. You have to take yourself seriously in order for other people to begin to take you seriously. 
You can tell pretty fast what these men are looking for from you. You are aware of what you want so if they are showing no signs of being able to produce those desired results you should not deal with them.
Yes, you should start telling guys what you are looking for. A lot of guys are honest enough to tell you if they are interested in the same things you are interested in.
Also get busy, as in find something to fill your time. Don’t allow them to make you their last minute date. They need to plan dates with you a few days in advance. Also be careful of the conversations you are having with these men. Let them lead and break the ice. Don’t feel like you always have to make them comfortable around you. 
For More input see the Comment Area. My Facebook friends are rather opinionated and they always have good advice.
This Answer was Brought to You by Kissy Denise | Queen of Answers
27 Comments
Keep hope alive!
I want to know the answers to this .
Her priorities must be in order and living a stable life. If not, then what else can she offer besides sex?
Miss kissy the only thing I can say is that a woman that dress about half naked or put herself on the line like shes a loose woman.
Ms kissy it's like i had a magnet & radar detector for this type of man but little do they know i got a lock with a key to my goods sorry gotta put a ring on it… Real talk
U AIN'T NEVER LIE KISSY BUT ITS A TRUE FACTOR SMGDH,KEEP BRINGING UR WISDOM KISSY IM LEARNING SPMETHING NEW EVERYDAY THANK U
typo o u have a bless day n, nite
Or you can just not have sex with them.
Some of um got me shook out here lol.. Note i said some
are you serious~~
I know thats right we teach others how to treat us so if we choose to walk around half naked that is what we get. you can cover it all up and still be extremely sexy ans lady like and men will approach you in that manner!!!!
Maybe her career doesn't allow her the time to really be committed….
Kissy, not all men want a woman just for sex. A woman's got to bring more to the table than just physical attributes, and many men get that. But how you carry yourself is every bit as important as the visual cues you're giving off. If you carriage tells a men, "there's more to me than meets the eye," you'll attract the men who'll want to delve deeper. If you carriage tells a man, "don't you want a woman who's hot like me?", then…
ALL THATS ON HIS MIND WHENU FIRST MEET IS SEXING U…ITS UP TO U TO MAKE HIM WANT MORE THAN THAT…UR CONVO, THE WAY U CARRY URSELF AND BASICALLY THE VIBE HE GETS FROM U LETS HIM KNOW THAT EITHER HE SEES U AS JUS ANOTHER PIECE OF ASS OR IF U ARE SOMEONE HE WANTS AS A PERMANENT FIXTURE IN HIS LIFE…MEN ARE SIMPLE CREATURES AND ITS NOT A ROCKET SCIENCE TO FIGURE THEM OUT…THERE IS NO GRAY AREA..ALL BLACK AND WHITE..EITHER IT IS OR IT AINT..
because certain WOMEN attract boyz,And certain women dont want a real men, they perferr a dope boy instead who mistreat her, then WANT 2 married her.
For me it all depends on how she carries herself. Sexual attraction is usually on 1st sight….but if we can talk on a mature level I will want to know you as a person. Now all I want is a relationship. Sex can be over ratedjust my opinion.
Sometimes a woman will be fully dressed and a man will still only want sex! Some men are just jerks. She should tell them she wants a relationship and not have sex until she is in one.
@Tamara Wright, you may want to rethink your previous comments. All men DO NOT have sex on their mind when they meet a woman. Sex is not the end-all, be-all for many of us. That includes me.
Part of the problem is that many women have this perception that men are nothing but on the prowl, that we want to have sex with every attractive woman we meet. I can tell you from personal experience, that just isn't true. There are some women who are physically attractive, but wanting sex with them never crossed my mind. Either they were too stuck on themselves, had bad attitudes, or already had kids by six different guys.
By the way, I do know quite a bit about rocket science. In fact, I'm still trying to convince my Dear Missus we should retire to Florida one day, so I can be a tour guide at Kennedy Space Center.
Men are so used to getting sex without any commitments. Women have to put their foot down and stop giving it up. Some men will tell you they won't rush into a relationship because they take it serious but turn around and ask for sex. I think you should take who you have sex with seriously too! Thats why there are so many kids out of wedlock, and cases of STDs, HIV, AIDs especially among black people.
@CLAXTON, I APOLOGIZE, I SHOULD HAVE SAID SOME MEN…I TRY NOT TO GENERALIZE…MY BAD!!!
Claxton. I have heard that argument, But since it has happened to men in the past I understand tht the problem sometimes is just the type of man a woman meets.
@Nicole Thompson, I may be one of the few men you know who didn't ask for the sex. I say that not as a matter of pride or to puff myself up, but I genuinely didn't. Again, it comes back to priorities, and in building a relationship with the opposite sex, having sex was always the final priority.
Chances are the girl that wrote that question is highly attractive.. I would bet money on it. More attractive women have problems with men just wanting them for sex. So the older men like her because of her attributes and intelligence. It really may be no basis on her other then her not accepting this treatment and placing herself in the right environment to meet men who actually like attractive women.
A woman can have her stuff together but if she is attractive the average man will not want her… HE wants someone less attractive. Thats just the truth.
I really wanted to know if telling a man I'm not looking for sex up front was moving to fast or should I just wait until the subject was brought to me? I attract older men who seem to only want sex or a married man. No I don't dress provocative…..Whenever I do go out I'm the one out the group that has the MOST clothes on. I have to be honest, I work and go to school so I really don't make myself available for dates. But I would like to mix and mingle.
@Kissy, remember that you're talking to a man here who doesn't fit the stereotype of what many women think a man is – namely, a wolf. That's not to say I was a complete gentleman in my single days. I appreciate the female figure as much as any man, and still do. But I also understood the responsibility sex carried with it. It was a responsibility I didn't want until I knew I met the woman I wanted to commit to.
I agree with this answer and would like to add that you are gonna meet some jerks but there are dudes out there who will actually want to know you 1st and not how wet you get. Being honest! Change the places you frequent and mindset. Also, when going out on dates be assertive as far as where you’d like to go. Get to know him and what makes him tick. A trick I do is offer to go out to a museum. If they decline for a club instead I know what I’m dealing with and will act accordingly…good luck!
I agree 100 %….I posted earlier as I too am dating that a man should lubricate me mentally before he attempts to lubricate me sexually. Yes you will need to wine and dine me I consider myself a 5 star chic so men should approach me as one No matter how they perceive me. I may not look like one but my perception is my reality!