I’m 23 years old and I’m a mom to a 2mnth old precious son. After I broke-up with ex, I discovered that I’m 3 months pregnant.
Told him, but he insisted on aborting the baby but I couldn’t.
During the pregnancy, my family elders gave him a call for damages as it is a tradition when u fall pregnant unmarried. He told them he wants nothing do wth me or the baby.
Three days after my son’s birth. I sent him a photo of the baby. He congratulated me and I haven’t heard from since…. up until he sent an email asking about my son and stating that he can’t do anything for the baby right now cause he doesn’t have a job.
Now Ms.Kissy, call me crazy,but although this man has put me through hell, I still love him, although he doesn’t want me.
I even pray to God everyday to get him out of my system if it’s not meant for he and I to be together. Am I losing it? lol
I DIDN’T ABORT
DEAR I DIDN’T ABORT:
Yes, you are losing it. I’m going to help God out right now by telling you to stop praying for that relationship. That is absolutely a preposterous thing for you to do at this point. When a man tells you to abort that means he has no interest in your romantically, physically, spiritually or mentally. He wants nothing to do with you.. You can’t force anything. If you thought keeping the child would make him want to be with you then you have joined the ranks of thousands of other women who have found out that does not work.
Although it was irresponsible of you both to have unprotected sex and not use birth control or a day after pill, besides the fact that neither of you can have a baby the baby is here now.
For future reference though, the next time you decide to have a baby against the male’s instructions you should be prepared to raise a child on your own for a few years and possibly for life.
Your family tradition kind of disturbs me. The fact that it’s “traditional” for the family to reach out to the sperm donor to pay the hospital bill. Usually in such cases it’s the State and Human Services that is reached out to in order to help with the costs.
Anyway, although he asked you to abort and told you he wanted nothing to do with you or the baby he can either sign his rights away or you can take him to court in order to pay child support. Saying no I don’t want you to have a baby does not mean that he is not financially responsible for the financial well being of the child.
He has reached out to you through email because it is slowly soaking into his brain that he has a child, flesh and blood on this earth and he is yearning to do the right thing. He is starting to feel bad that he is not in the childs life. I would suggest you give him some time and let it soak. Tell him that you understand that he does not want to be with you but you would love it if he would be involved in the child’s life. Tell him to see about getting a job or tell your family to reach out to him to help him find employment.
And please by all means stop wasting God’s ears praying for a person that does not want you. You are going to have to raise your self esteem. Love may take a long time to go away, but high self esteem will help you control your emotions and make better decisions. Also get on birth control ASAP, and still STOP having unprotected sex. It’s dangerous.
Congratulations on having a healthy baby. My nephew died as a toddler a few weeks ago. He wasn’t born healthy…. God blessed you with a healthy child. Appreciate that.
Queen of Answers | Goddess of Life | The Expert on Common Sense