05 Jul 2011
Posted by Miss Kissy 
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- Ninja Please!
Some men want women to play the roles as a man and a woman at the same time. If you are in a 50/50 relationship that is still bad. If should at least be 60/40 . Men are supposed to do more. What was the point of God making you stronger then a woman? Do you want to be able to walk around with a big belly for nine months and give birth too? Would you like to have a menstrual cycle? Nope, you don’t want none of that. You want no parts of that. Yet you expect a woman to do everything you do..
Men protect and provide and women nurture life. REAL MEN UNDERSTAND THIS. It’s not really the fact that a man is lacking financially that is really the problem. It’s his mindset, attitude and decisions that are a problem. Some women decide to stay away from such a man because she has deemed that he does not make decisions that are conducive towards the overall *embetterment of the relationship.
Of course there are women who don’t mind helping you or supporting you during your struggles. But you have to have the right attitude. Some successful men often have a woman behind them. That woman a lot of times is not a business successful woman. She is instead a woman that is sucessful at nurturing a good man into success by being his backbone and support system. She takes care of house and home in every way. She makes life easier for him. Therefore he can go out and conquer the world. Men like this have DECIDED that was the type of woman that was best for them.
If you have not reached this level of success yet this is how your conversation with a woman who wants more should go. NEXT PAGE>>> Pages: 1 2 3
150 Comments
no cause some men dont want thier woman to work,i know i dont!!
No because A REAL HOUSEWIFE’s day is full with taking care of her home and husband
Not at all..some of us value a traditional marriage…
lazy? wouldn’t use that word depends greatly on the circumstances. I meet a lot of women who are traditional and ask whether I would be comfortable with a wife who doesn’t work and instead takes care of our children. If we had children then I am ok with that given my income and hope that it only gets better…, if not- she should work- i mean what is she doing all day if not taking care of young children? the home can’t get that dirty every day and cooking dinner doesn’t take that long for 2.
i would love for my womean to stay home and enjoy the fruits of my labor…as long as she cooks, cleans, and exercises regular.
It really depends. Is she just wanting a free ride? Is it that both the woman and man want her to stay home and raise the children instead of sending them to daycare? Is it the woman who just feels that a man’s money should be hers? Us a man only worthy if he is making say over $80K ? I don’t want a freeloading woman who will just be with me until someone with more money comes along.
that said, i would not want a woman who is so clearly looking for a meal ticket, so she doesn’t have to work and just think she should get by on looking good. Mom- counts as a big job, without kids it seems a bit more like a kept woman
In today’s world and economic conditions, it takes 2 incomes to really have a comfortable family lifestyle. However, if the man makes enough money to afford her to stay home, then by all means, stay home. I’ve learned that stay home moms work harder anyway trying to keep the house clean, rearing the kids, household chores, mailing/sending out bills, preparing meals, etc…..sounds like work to me. Now if she’s home not doing any of the above, now you just got a LAZY dependent!
Someone is about to get a lot of friend requests JAMES PEOPLES…
In my experience most men who are stable want their women @ home.
a w0man’s j0b n a h0me seemz NVA 2b d0ne! God Bless a “h0usewife” even th0 i dnt lik 2 use dat term 4 “her”
A Real man tha loves hs Wife wants hs woman taken care of hs home& a prudent woman agrees…
@ Zachary you are so right.. However, people fail to think of That when viewing such Women… especially if she’s black. She’s deemed a gold digger, lazy etc!
Should be a 2 way street. Hopefully the man and woman has a job. Like women say don’t nobody want a broke man, its the same for a man. Cause I can’t take care of a broke woman.
As long as my woman is happy doing what she loves…doesnt matter if she is at home or out there working. I prefer my woman to b jus as ambitious as I am. I wouldnt hold her to jus household chores or watchin the kids. She may love teaching, she may love working wit animals, etc. Plus there is more excitement throughout the day for her and me to talk about when we come home. Plus i dont mind doin some household chores togetha. Togetha is what i always thought it was about. And Providing is not jus financially…if it was…a lot of women wouldnt b complainin bout men now.
question for the women: do you want to rely on a man for your whole economic security? If you don’t have kids he is less connected to you and could decide to take him and his money to a newer younger model. I think you should have a job, if that job is stay at home Mother, great.
If a woman wants to stay at home and the husband can afford to support the family that is fine. Child care is expensive and if you have more than 1 child it may be cheaper for the wife to stay home. Personally I would only stay home if I had young children under school age. After the kids start school I really don’t see the need for a stay at home mom. Nowadays to save for college tuition etc takes two incomes. I also wouldn’t want to become that dependant on my husband what if he loses his job or decides to leave. I never want to be that woman who is out there with nothing starting over after not working for a long period of time.
Many some want a traditional household but don’t or can’t play their role. I am finding that many women can’t cook, clean house properly and claim to be to tired for sex. Oh sure women want a man to take care of them but they have a role to fill too.
I see nothing wrong with a woman respect being the traditional housewife at but I have no problem with a woman who wants to work as well. It’s her right.
Also..id prefer to come home and see my boo comin home wit her heels and business suit on. Id listen to her day, she listen to mine. We cook togetha…all that. Id rather feel like her man rather than her ‘master’. Plus as Vince said earlier…2 incomes can make us more financially stable and make life better for our kids than it was for us.
Some women are happy bein by their man’s side knowin he’s the money maker and whatever she wants or needs she goes through him…nah that doesn’t work for me. I need to have my own – I like havin my own bank account, car in my name, house in my name and son on… From what I have seen with the women who stay home and be housewife they end up losing their identity and live under the man. What happens when that doesn’t work out?? Where do they go – what do they do??? I will never be in that position – I will always be able to hold my own!
I sincerely hope that some of you are merely just responding to what’s at the top of the page and not responding to the article…. Anytime I post YOU HAVE TO READ THE ARTICLE FIRST, I can only put so much in the facebook box..
As far as dating a broke a** man…why would a woman who is on solid foundation want a man who doesn’t have stability? I feel EVERYBODY should be with a person who lifts them up not bring them down so if you ain’t workin and don’t have money who will have to pay for everything???? NOT ME!!!
Lol..o naw..i jus responded to the posts..LOL..as far as the article..i do think there is a diff between a broke man and a broke man wit no ambition. But it jus depends on what u see. Now if this brother is broke and just tryna sponge off of his woman then yea..hes trippin. But some brothas are working hard but arent financially there. Those are the brothas that it is ok to look to grow with. But for those that jus look to leech on and drain u for all that u have…gotta let em go.
Traditional households are few and far between nowadays. It’s not very practical when you consider the cost of living nowadays. Independence is usually through financial means. Why is a man characterized as “lazy” if he is a stay at home father? I say if you got it like that then by all means.
Lastly… I don’t care how much I make I expect my lady to contribute. Cleaning the house is not an option. I do that already.
Well said!
you are twisted a black man would rather have a black woman but the white girl accepts him when he is broke/ she dont mind driving the hoopty with rust and two tone paint with a tail light busted
Who said ALL broke black men want to STAY broke. A woman should take into consideration a man's ambition and evaluate his effectivenss and setting goals and taking action. Black women continue to partake in this slave mentality that black men want tostay broke and shiftless or want to chase white women when they get money. This is simply not true for the majority of us. The white controlled media plays this up and it works to keep us divided and conquered. If a black woman does not trust me enough to get the job done when I am broke how am I going to trust her to take care of my household and assets when I have my money together? That is my situation now. I still want to marry a black woman but unless she has accumulated her own assets equal to mine a prenup will have to be part of the deal.
deep…
I know i’m going to catch hell for this, but women’s liberation killed only women. Women alleviated all responsibility and that is the reason you got these men who will leave you at the drop of an hat
and there are just some sorry niggas out there
So sad but tru
u cant have rights and a man…lol
I’m broke and I have no problem at all with women.
wow! I’m glad I left my kids dad. I knew I was right. Thanks Kissy
MONEY HAS NEVER BEEN A MAJOR FACTOR FOR ME..NEVER BEEN MONEY HUNGERY BUT W..HAT IS A MAN THAT HAS NOT 1 THING TO OFFER A WOMAN LOOKIN FOR A RELATIONSHIP IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! I NEVER HAVE UNDERSTOOD THIS TO SAVE MY LIFE!
Four years ago, I was a broke black man. Circumstances happened, along w/ some bad decision making on my part to put me there. The woman who was w/ me when I was up left me when I got down. Now I am no longer a broke black man. I make well into the six-figures, getting ready to close on a house, have a great portfolio, and making better decisions. Every broke black man doesn’t want to be were he is (I know some who do). The woman who left me is now w/ a broke black man, and has had a couple of abortions. She wants to come back, ’cause I’m up. You know I ain’t going there. Am I wrong?
This was an interesting post with a lot of thought provoking and insightful statements. Some things I agree with and some things I don’t. I agree that men do need to have their act together financially if they intend to have a meaningful relationship that can lead to marriage and a family with a woman. However, I don’t agree that the input should be 60/40 or that men should do more just because of their superior physical strengths.
If you look at the history and great civilizations that African people built before the coming of Asiatic and European people, black men and women lived in societies where they had egalitarian relationships. They both gave equal input in the development and maintenance of the family structure and society. These same societies operated under the matrilineal system where the woman was the center of the family and the line of rulership and inheritance was traced through the woman. Females had so much power that sometimes visitors thought men and women and reversed roles in these civilizations. The Greek historian Herodotus was witness to this. Many scholars argue that if it were not for the input of women, civilizations such as Egypt/Kemet wouldn’t have been so great.
When you look at civilizations all over the world, sciences such as agriculture and astronomy were developed by women who then taught the men. There’s plenty of documentation validating this. This is pretty much my addendum or counter argument to that one point. Two great books on this subject are “Black Women in Antiquity” Edited by Ivan Van Sertima and “African Woman: The Original Guardian Angel” by Ishakamusa Barashango. Sorry for writing a passage but I’m really passionate about topics such as this. I’m going to repost your blog to my page. I think it will spark interesting dialogue. I hope all is well with you.
Xavier Williams your intelligence always makes me smile. Thank You <3
Thanks Kissy. As always, my aim is to give information and inspiration.
It’s always hilarious to me when people want to illustrate how, “real,” men/women should act and then blame, “God.” Men can’t choose to carry children so that’s a nonsensical query. What was appropriate in the middle of an agricultural society is not necessarily appropriate now. The advent of the technological/industrial revolution made the helpless chattel birther bride no longer the only option. That’s not a, “Godly,” concept. It’s a patriarchal machination. Women are built differently because the luck of the draw made them the carriers of the implanted seed. Condoms and exercise will negate that difference. Wanting to have the cake of equal pay and opportunity in the workforce as well as eating the privilege of being simultaneously treated as a helpless object to be obtained is fine if you find a man who needs the ego stroke of dominating a self-imposed subordinate, but his insecurity doesn’t make him more, “real,” than another. Just as not all women are neglectful child murdering, manipulative welfare teat sucklers, neither are all affluent Black men begging white women for their time. Generalities are good as a soundbite, but are typically not illustrative of the situation’s reality. Again, if you want Don Draper, make sure you’re handling your January Jones correctly.
Very well written….Only thing I want to add is that relationships should always be 100/100 from both sides…..and men and women should treat each other better period……why do we wait until we want to be in a relationship to decide to be concerned about the type of men or women that are out here….I just want to know do we care about each other as people first…….Most women who meet broke men are only concerned about what they will get from him if they choose to date him……are you concerned about helping him become a better man just for the sake of himself and not for the sake of a relationship with you ….can you help him not only improve his financial situation and/or character just for the sake of helping another person get to where they're trying to go…..do you provide insight and resources to help him/her be prepared when he actually meets his/her mate or do you just throw him/her in the "they're broke" so I'm not dating them category…….I just don't want the only time that we discuss the issues facing men and women it is always relationship oriented on the whole who is the right one to date thought process…..When speaking of God, in this "Christian" nation we have to take into account the patriarchal bible teachings that have led to some mis education on gender roles on purpose……and by the biblical account of creation in Genesis…..God gave Adam purpose and a list of things to do for God and after God finished instructing him, Adam fell asleep and when he woke up, there was a woman there……He didn't have to do anything to have her except stick to the purpose of what God gave Him to do……that's the story, and we can be "new wave" as we want to, in America that's the story……Moral to it……..A man that does God purpose faithfully will always have the woman for him…….As men and women we are all going through a re education process so we have to work more on becoming better men and women and the relationship situation will take care of themselves…….
This is not a Christian nation. It is a nation founded on the principles of religious freedom, no matter WHAT one's religion might be.
This article is FOS Full of SH*T. Men are supposed to pay for the woman??? Those times have come and gone. I have done the good husband thing bought a house cars etc. and the woman did nothing but throw it all away. She didnt have to earn any of it so it was ok to piss it away. 2003 almost 1/4 mil in the bank . 2005 filing BANKRUPTCY to save my house all because I had a woman who wasnt on the same page!! Therre are 3 things you have tohave the same view on in a successful mariage
1. MONEY you have to have the same views save or spend
2. kids how toraise dicipline and care for them
3. Religion if your faith isnt on the same line then when you need guidance you wont value the others solutions.
gone are the days when the wife can stay at home and take care of house and home. Even if financially they could sheneeds a damn job to keep her out of trouble. My old uncle Lucious used to say
" Women are like children if you dont tell them what to do they will get introuble"
I didnt believe this until I was married I had to constantly give instructions on how to do the right thing not the right now thing.So I dont prefer white woman but at least they do as theyre told
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Lmao!
NO!
NO!
I dont know but I have dated a broke man before and it was so not cute.. I couldnt stand it. Just seems like women are more resourceful than men.
I dont know but I have dated a broke man before and it was so not cute.. I couldnt stand it. Just seems like women are more resourceful than men.
Nope!… Broke is broke:)
Nope!… Broke is broke:)
From A Woman’s Prespective ~ Never Date A Broke Man, UNLESS…
From A Woman’s Prespective ~ Never Date A Broke Man, UNLESS…
Nope.
Nope.
U cant have sex with woman being broke……but sex with a broke guy priceless……best ever…..
U cant have sex with woman being broke……but sex with a broke guy priceless……best ever…..
It’s hell to date a broke woman! When I was dating I never let a lady pay! But I think broke people should date amongst themselves! Broke is broke!
shit i work hard and i don’t want a lazy ass woman if we are liven good with just me workng if both of us working we will be great
hmmm sooo true
No finance No romance.
@Marshall Graham Jr. ~ Exacty, Let Them Miserable Together…
What is consider broke?
@Lakeisha Owens ~ When You Don’t A Pot To Piss In & A Window To Throw It Out… That’s BROKE.
@Lakeisha… good question because there are different levels of “brokeness”
1) Some cant pay their bills = beyond broke…
2)can only pay their bill but no money left = broke…
3)ones that can pay their bills and have a little play money but spends all play money on stupid shit.. Like Rims r Us, Clothes he cant afford trying to impress other folks = stupid broke.
At 41 im Loving dating cause at this age they either got it together or they Dont.So its alot Easier to know if you should stick around. My friend like to take me just about anywhere all the time. And he got me covered and I got his back if he needs Me!
@ Prima, now that’s broke.
@ Nichelle Cns, good breakdown. That apply to a lot of folks.
I couldn’t have said it better myself!
I think the post is extremely 50′ish. Yes God intended for men to be the provider but women were created as their helper. Would I date a flat out broke man with no ambition or anything going for himself? Absolutely not!! But what is wrong with struggling with your man? To say he will leave you for a white chick sounds extremely bitter and cynical. That has everything to do with character….not his salary. No I would not date a bum but yes I would date a guy who had goals and were pursuing them whether he is broke or not. Thats whats wrong with women. You say men mindset is messed up but so are most women mindsets which is why the one who think like this inevitably are single, or old with a house full of cats. In todays society women are and able to climb that corporate ladder just like men so why are you still looking to be taken care of? A relationship is a partnership/teamwork. I think men should adjust their thinking but so should.women. We arent living in the stoneage where the woman sat at.home as a housewife etc….there is nothing wrong with being a housewife but in my opinion with all that is available to women in corporate america coupled with the education available why would you NOT want to take advantage? Bring to the table what ur expecting.
Broke is when they just want to comeover or just stop by and then have the nerve to ask did you cook! That dont cost a dime! Ladies dont do it. Make them take you out! So you can show him that your time is Valuable!
Dont judge a man by his money. Judge him by his WISDOM! The money is just a BONUS from GOD!
SHANITA come back in a few years after you’ve dated a few broke men…. I promise you will have a different mindet
All that independent woman stuff is SO OVERRATED!! I have been independent for a very long time and I tell you I have LOST count of how many times I have been overlooked for “broke” women and once (and once was all it took) dumped when the dude got on his feet. So, like Kissy said, date enough broke men and you will see!
If he got wisdom, he will figure out how not to live from pay check to pay check, invest, have higher goals….
@Kissy.. So true… so very true. Its not cute at all. The ones that are broke and cant get creative are the worse.. At least fool me and act like you are being romantic by picnics in the park, trips to the local lake, walks around the lake.. all very inexpensive.. but if you cant get creative with your broke self.. just leave me the hell alone. I can eat damn noodles and drink kool-aid by my damn self.
hmmm. interesting. i cant answer it
@ Nichelle Cns, LMAO! U a mess! So true. Tried to converse with one but I couldn’t do it. Such a turn off.
It sounds like ur dating men with flawed character, a good man who doesnt have a lot of money wouldnt leave his woman when he got on his feet. A man with money can leave you. What if he had a great job and then found himself broke? Is it s wrap then? At some point we will all struggle with someone as well as them us u just have to be smart enough to kno the ones that is worth it. IF you got dumped after he got on his stuff then ur bad for not paying close attention to who he really was character wise….a good man wouldnt do it JMO
I dnt knw coz i dnt hav heart ,
@Lakeisha i have been traumatized by broke men.. Its like I am a broke man magnet. You need to get your life together…. call Nichelle. You need some encouragement call Nichelle… If you mama/sister is tired of you living in her home…call Nichelle. I have played Captain Save A Ho to many times.. I just want one good sugar daddy..
Overall most have been decent guys they just were not putting all of the pieces together. I just cant do broke anymore. You can look like mozilla the gorilla or Flava Flav but not broke.
Also being Independant is NOT overrated…perhaps the small minset of thinking or limited circle ur surrounded by is below mediocrity. I take pride in my independance and my guy absolutely adores me bc of it! it should b embraced bc its an accomplishment!! A strong confident man recognizes that. Put yourself in a broader circle and with those as the same path as u not limiting your thinking and you will b surprised. Im living proof! Women are soooo in a hurry to get cuffed men of value can smell it from a mile away and run in the opposite direction which is why ‘re left with scabs that taint your thinking drop u a couple flattering lines and what happens? You become bitter and ball busters. If more women just lived there lives not placing so much value on a mans salary EMBRACED THEIR INDEPENDANCE you would have a lot more happy stuff to talk about rather than bashing broke no good ninjas that left you
Confident women have to be with a Confident Man and Im Confident that he know which Lane to Roll in when it comes to dealing with a Lady!
I agree with shanita michelle. Well what if a man is rich and beats on women? Men with money can use his wealth against u. Ladies, u should look at the compatibility u have with a man and his true character, not how much money he has. Im not saying that u need to be the man’s mother but relationships are about growing together and that includes struggles.
Yall know what kinda Broke she talking about…lol. Lets not make Excuses for some of these men just cause the Dick Good! Ok sorry! That broke man is what she Talking bout!
I think a man should have a stable job. If a man was a billionaire and I wasnt compatible with him, I will not choose him. Ladies what is your expectations of a man regarding money? Does he have to be rich? Does he just need a stable job?
no, broke is broke. Men are expected to earn more, but not always that way anymore when getting paid now!
@SHANITA Most black men would love to have SKRONG BLACK WOMAN that they don’t have to do anything for….
I agree Phylicia….most women will front and say for them just to have a stable job but if two men were put in front of them one rich who they ARENT compatible with andt one being a cashier at Lowes that they are compatible with please believe they.going for mr money bags. Ppl lack soooo much substance and have f’d up priorities and standards and actually wonder y they by themselves or keep.attracting bums. We are what we attract simply put…step your game up and you’ll get more
@kissy, yes and if ur speaking of most men that are broke….y wouldnt they? However smart women should b able to see thru the mooching bums and the men of quality….unless you fall in that pathetic category of just wanting a man which it appears most women do then sit up and complain. When dating look for more than just his salary. Im just saying why are you dating this broke men anyway??? If thats huge for you then ur bad when u get screwed.
And plus some black women put these unrealistic standards on black men but the thing is black men are different from white men. You will find most black men broke especially after they have good jobs.
And plus some black women put these unrealistic standards on black men but the thing is black men are different from white men. You will find most black men broke especially after they have good jobs.
Omg!!!! Yes!!! The unrealistic standards are hilarious to me. All I asked for is a man of God, someone who loves me and add to my happiness. If he knows God and has a relationship with him then there is NO WAY he is going to see me without or not do everything in his power to care for me…my simple yet realistic standards landed me just that! Never dated bums….so maybe I just cant relate. *kanye shrug*
To choose someone based on their salary is a sign of plain ignorance. Salaries can change constantly.
Ladies yall are setting yourself up for getting fucked over because u failed to look at the content of his character. Yes michelle these standards are beyond ridiculous to me.
@phylicia yes the hell they can! So word to the wise, you better look for more than how thick his wallet is vice versa! Besides, if you got ur s*** together if his salary changed it would b a hiccup in the relationship bc ur foundation will b built with much more!
If u broke like me….just use limited funds and go to a strip club…….even if u spend alot u dont have to hear all this bull$hit….Lol
Work ethic should be the focus if the person is driven and takes pride in being a loving, respectful, productive, useful, resourcful human being then they are a commodity. The ones dating to look for someone to shack up with so they can stay lounging around doing nothing or reduce their responsibilities are easy to spot. Man or Woman those should be avoided.
Amen! Amen! and Amen!!! Now, this is what I am talking about!!!! I really like this article Kissy. Great job!!!!!!!! Men, are you LISTENING?!!!!!
oh lawd…..thats the pfoblam with black people….smh
nice debate on the topic… im taking everybodys opinion into perspective….
nice debate on the topic… im taking everybodys opinion into perspective….
what is worst.. its bad..11.5.
lol You said it best!
Hey baby girl. I read all of this and found it to be quite thought provoking. As your right-hand man, I would have to say that I agree with this article; however, as a holder of a Psychology degree, I must say that I have to be objective …about this piece. This piece is biased. Period. The "traditional" role of a man differs from culture to culture, yet it is only targeted towards "Black" men. I know many Black men who fit the mold that this article is referring to, but I also know Black men who don't yet they are in happy relationships.
It's all about communication and making sure that both parties in the relationship are clear about what they want, and what "roles" are expected to be fulfilled. If a woman finds herself in an unhappy relationship where she feels she is taking on the "roles" of a man, then she has no one else to blame but herself. So long as her man can see or hear, then she should be able to communicate her needs to him. If he cannot fulfill those needs, then she has spent more time than was needed in that relationship; thus, she is to blame.
We as human beings must cease from placing blame on others that is rightfully ours. Just as God made man and woman, he also gave us the tools we need to communicate and thrive. If we don't use them, then we ourselves are at fault. There is someone out there for everyone, we just need to have the patience for that moment of unity between two. One love baby girl, love you!
Preach it James!!!
James Robinson since your cosigning this. Then should men support females who have kids by different dudes they bring into a relationship, ranging to miscarriages and abortions by other dudes in the past. To her own lack of money and her lack of exercise and obesity.
lol You said it best!
Hey baby girl. I read all of this and found it to be quite thought provoking. As your right-hand man, I would have to say that I agree with this article; however, as a holder of a Psychology degree, I must say that I have to be objective …about this piece. This piece is biased. Period. The “traditional” role of a man differs from culture to culture, yet it is only targeted towards “Black” men. I know many Black men who fit the mold that this article is referring to, but I also know Black men who don’t yet they are in happy relationships.
It’s all about communication and making sure that both parties in the relationship are clear about what they want, and what “roles” are expected to be fulfilled. If a woman finds herself in an unhappy relationship where she feels she is taking on the “roles” of a man, then she has no one else to blame but herself. So long as her man can see or hear, then she should be able to communicate her needs to him. If he cannot fulfill those needs, then she has spent more time than was needed in that relationship; thus, she is to blame.
We as human beings must cease from placing blame on others that is rightfully ours. Just as God made man and woman, he also gave us the tools we need to communicate and thrive. If we don’t use them, then we ourselves are at fault. There is someone out there for everyone, we just need to have the patience for that moment of unity between two. One love baby girl, love you!
Preach it James!!!
Why do Black Men feel like black women are supposed to sign up for struggle instead of success?
What?? Some of the questions are just ridiculous!!
Struggle knows no Race. Everyone can struggle.
Why you feel you can just come n after all the hard work is done? jay z: Just cuz you good head im suppose to break bread so you can be living it up?
well a black strong woman is suppose to hold the man down n a struggle, specially when hes tryn to build a world around her
Its also not the black womans job to come and take all my money after i struggle..smh
Its also not the black womans job to come and take all my money after i struggle..smh
thats right and its not our job to be with a lazy ass woman who wants everything and not willing treat a man like a king instead of a atm
thats right. and its not a black mans job to date broke women and a woman who dont treat a man like a king but treat him like an atm.
If you aren't there for the struggle then you have no rights to the spoils. This kind of thinking is why most chicks don't deserve HALF. HALF is there because you were part of the struggle.
Any women who listen to this okay-dorkie crap don't deserved a real man…. What happen to healthy and sickness and rich and poor if ur married? Double standard if you ask me. Smh
This blog entry is just nonsense. Sorry. I don't like ladies who want a traditional "household" while trying to gain the advantages of a modern one. Ladies who lived at home were subordinate to their men and took the homemaker job seriously. Nowadays you are lucky to find a homemaker who can make a bed and cook a meal. She's too busy watching Maury and Springer and making kids instant oatmeal.
Traditional male/female roles in a home are a thing of the past. Stop bitching about how MEN (or ladies for that matter) don't fit your idea of a mate. Find one that does and stop complaining about the others because those people OBVIOUSLY have different outlooks than you.
I think its different in race and location. Kissy I get where u coming from til everybody stop pointing fingers and actually start admitting to their faults we as a race will never make it in relationships because a lot of things are becoming rare finding a good man/woman is becoming rare. All the good men seems to be taken and still wanna fool around where women will settle and be that outside woman. As a race we are just fucked up lol still in that slave mentality instead of working together and trying to help each other its all about what u can do for them or u owe me this and that…
I think its different in race and location. Kissy I get where u coming from til everybody stop pointing fingers and actually start admitting to their faults we as a race will never make it in relationships because a lot of things are becoming rare finding a good man/woman is becoming rare. All the good men seems to be taken and still wanna fool around where women will settle and be that outside woman. As a race we are just fucked up lol still in that slave mentality instead of working together and trying to help each other its all about what u can do for them or u owe me this and that…
I think its different in race and location. Kissy I get where u coming from til everybody stop pointing fingers and actually start admitting to their faults we as a race will never make it in relationships because a lot of things are becoming rare finding a good man/woman is becoming rare. All the good men seems to be taken and still wanna fool around where women will settle and be that outside woman. As a race we are just fucked up lol still in that slave mentality instead of working together and trying to help each other its all about what u can do for them or u owe me this and that…
Stacey Renee There are still good men around. We just waiting on some the women to get on that mature level. As well as women waiting for men to get on that mature level as well
…i did NOT go back and follow all these comments. So for a man, the adjective is " struggle". It works both ways. Ya dig for a woman: t the adjective is: "triflin". When relationsahip s work out,, they're not all press clean. You got to iron the wrinkles out!
No, it's not her job. But she can't be upset when she loses out to women of different ethnicities neither. If we're talking about "James Evans" type of struggling, then I can get with that as it makes no sense to put your hopes and faith into a man that will only subsist given his education and skill level.(BTW, love James and his values but that was for a different time). However, if a man is actively pursuing his goals whether through education, building his career or business, then I don't see that as a "job" but an investment. For me, I would have mad love, trust and respect for the woman that was by my side while I was trying to make it rather than her showing up after the heavy lifting was done.
Everybody is different so that's not a true statement.
Everybody is different so that's not a true statement.
Everybody is different so that's not a true statement.
Everybody is different so that's not a true statement.
u got to ride through the valley to get to the mountain top
Damn AsK-Kissy.com, you sucked me in and finally got me to comment on this one. On an overall point, I agree, but there are some things that need to be cleared up.
Damn facebook and it's 'Enter key submits the comment functionality'
1. There are a lot of women who will NOT talk to a man during his struggle stage. I can see that, but if he's truly trying, then he will make it. And I guarantee you, that if she would't give me the time of day during my struggle, she won't get ANY attention from me when I finally make it to where I want to be. Don't try to harvest the fruit if you didn't help plant the seed.
2. It's important to know that while yes, you are struggling with your man, if he's truly improving, then he is growing, and you must also grow with him. The whole 'Going for a white woman thing?', that's just bullshit. In almost ALL cases, it's a mentality issue. A strong man will lead, and be strong, but Black women tend to be also headstrong. Two cooks in the kitchen are going to cause conflict. He's going to choose a woman that understands and acknowledges the leadership of the man in a relationship. I can see how sisters see this as 'going for a white woman' trend, but it's more of a cultural thing due to the conditions and circumstances many of us were raised in. So yea, I am acknowledging that Black women have HAD to become strong due to the lack of commitment from men. But you have to know when to take your foot off the gas when you meet a man who CAN lead and be the strong one.
3. However, behind every king is a queen, and behind every successful man, there is a strong woman, who indeed is his backbone. I agree with that. A man can truly benefit from the motivation and nurturing of a woman to keep him going. And it is his DUTY to stick by that woman if she has stuck by him, and if she hasn't grown with him, then he needs to be patient and allow for that to happen. And well, if a man leaves after he's completed his lifting and goes for another woman, then you're better off, because he's a self centered, selfish individual who are you better off without. Either that or he just lost patience with you. There are two sides to every story.
My question is this though. Why are all these women hooking up with guys who have NO REALISTIC PLANS WHATSOEVER, while ignoring the one who is steady on his way to success. Oh? He's just working on his rap album? While ignoring the cat in school that's going for his bachelors or masters degree.
That's because this is NOT a post, it's a comment.. I used the Facebook Comments at the bottom of the post to put this on my page. You can use it to put it on your page and add the comments too.
Why do Black Men feel like black women are supposed to sign up for struggle instead of success?
What?? Some of the questions are just ridiculous!!
Struggle knows no Race. Everyone can struggle.
Why you feel you can just come n after all the hard work is done? jay z: Just cuz you good head im suppose to break bread so you can be living it up?
well a black strong woman is suppose to hold the man down n a struggle, specially when hes tryn to build a world around her
Its also not the black womans job to come and take all my money after i struggle..smh
thats right and its not our job to be with a lazy ass woman who wants everything and not willing treat a man like a king instead of a atm
thats right. and its not a black mans job to date broke women and a woman who dont treat a man like a king but treat him like an atm.
If you aren’t there for the struggle then you have no rights to the spoils. This kind of thinking is why most chicks don’t deserve HALF. HALF is there because you were part of the struggle.
Any women who listen to this okay-dorkie crap don’t deserved a real man…. What happen to healthy and sickness and rich and poor if ur married? Double standard if you ask me. Smh
This blog entry is just nonsense. Sorry. I don’t like ladies who want a traditional “household” while trying to gain the advantages of a modern one. Ladies who lived at home were subordinate to their men and took the homemaker job seriously. Nowadays you are lucky to find a homemaker who can make a bed and cook a meal. She’s too busy watching Maury and Springer and making kids instant oatmeal.
Traditional male/female roles in a home are a thing of the past. Stop bitching about how MEN (or ladies for that matter) don’t fit your idea of a mate. Find one that does and stop complaining about the others because those people OBVIOUSLY have different outlooks than you.
Peace, I didn’t read all of the comments, but I did read your whole article… and I just wanted to add, that maybe we need to find a better point than the man is strong… when many jobs don’t require physical strength. But I do agree with you. Black women are often charged with castrating men, or being too manly and dominant, but many fail to realize we take on that personality because put in those positions. When head of the house holds because bread winner, you are dominant. Yes, we should NOT belittle men if not making more (which in these days is quite hard showing statistical income for women, let along black woman verses male counterparts), but I also think unfair that as you stated, a man wants to be the “man” when not acting on any of the notions that should classify him as one, except what he was born with.
I must also agree it’s very frustrating, to run across tv programs or conversations of black men and their extreme dislike for black women. I first want to look at the relationship and view of and with their mother, but that’s neither here nor there. So now, you succeed with the support, but once you move up, your “trophy wife” is usually Asian or White… I guess because money allowed one to cross the color line… but who knows? But it is sad. It is sad that we (black women) have to be everywhere but viewed as never being anywhere when needed and our fault. Most black women ARE with black men who are struggling, and yet it’s never enough…
I love our black men, but as a people, we need to do better. I don’t need 60/40, but even with 50/50 you have to meet me half way…
This article is stupid. Your clearly putting all Black men in the same box as a few actors and athletes. And if this is your logic, then it is not our job to be with them and their kids by different dudes they bring into a relationship, ranging to miscarriages and abortions by other dudes in the past. To her own lack of money and her lack of exercise and obesity. By your twisted logic, then we should all enter into relationships that re perfect.
Your income says a lot about you. If I meet a woman my age who has never been married and has no children and she's broke then I know she ain't right for me. No one in her situation with the right mindset should be broke. Sure she might be a teacher making a lil salary. Maybe she works for a non-profit. But McDonald's? Kmart? Jobless? This sounds like you advocate weakness in women. Women are not weak. We aren't doing do hard labor anymore we've got technology and power tools so a woman regardless of physical strength can do any job a man can with her hair done and long nails to boot. Stop making excuses and make some paper. Bring something to the table that lets me know that if I do decide that you don't have to work because I'll take care of you that you know how to manage a household and money. If you doing bad by yourself I'm not coming to the rescue to do bad with you. A man can't be successful with an anchor for a wife.