Successful, intelligent women are known to choose bad relationships. Halle Berry is the most popular of the mystic women who can’t seem to keep a good man. Laura Govan, Gilbert Arenas baby mama times four is the latest in doing this. She has a masters degree in psychology. She got pregnant by Gilbert four times without being married. Gilbert left her while pregnant with the fourth child and cut off all of her finances. He is now suing her to keep her off of the VH! show Basketball Wives. Why would a man do something like this to the mother of his kids? A better question is how could such a beautiful, intelligent woman make such a bad choice over and over again with the same bad man?
Bright, intelligent women share some of the same traits that lead to them making bad choices in men. Here are a list of reasons:
Naivety- Most intelligent successful women lack all the traits of a gold digger. Unlike the gold digger, her drive for independence makes her not look for the qualities in a man that deem him stable. She does not care if a man makes lots of money or if he is a provider. All she cares about is potential and if she can love him. It’s all about love.
Supply and demand – Lack of men who are interested in her. Truth be told a lot of men simply do not want to deal with a woman that does not need them. Nor do they want to deal with a woman who is more than likely going to put pressure upon them to become a better man.
Picky – She is usually picky when it comes to the physical attributes of her mate. She wants a man that she is highly attracted to. Sure the lesser attractive men are interested in her but she desires to not only be adored and lusted but to also adore and lust her mate.
Assertion – These women tend to be aggressive and assertive (alpha females) They don’t have the passive traits that most men seek. She seeks a man who is more dominant and assertive than she is (alpha male). She is searching for someone to make her feel more like a lady and tame her aggressive nature. This trait attracts men (thugs) who take her assertive nature as a challenge. He will make game of it and attempt to conquer her and make her passive and then afterwards move on.
Confidence – She is usually highly confident and believes that she can change a man and things will get better. In her eyes, why wouldn’t a man want to be with her? She will voice her dislike of the situation but she continues to attempt to “fix” it, hoping he will come around and change. You see, she is a winner, she can accomplish anything. She will not give up too easily.
Unselfishness – She likes going nice places and doing things, so she doesn’t mind paying for them. She does not want a man to feel pressured or stressed by attempting to pay for these outings, so she gladly pays for the majority of them. She actually feels bad if a man is spending his last or attempting to do things out of his budget for her.
She may not truly know what a “real man” is or how it feels to be treated like a lady. Men have not treated her as such. She has not been truly feminized. Dealing with all that she is prone to pick a mate off of good looks, emotions and potential. Potential isn’t a guarantee, good looks are just that, emotions can stray you wrong…. She may do this several times in her life until she meets one that is so horrible that he causes her emotional strain and financial hardship. Not until then will she step back and assess her dating decisions. That is when she will start to think more like a gold digger and look for stability and longevity.
Now she logically wants a good man and has a new set of high requirements. She will usually find a good man without settling for less than what she wants. She will also prove to be a wonderful mate that truly appreciates her man.
BUT if she is a black woman seeking a black man – still seeking love, along with this new list of high requirements, she more than likely won’t find what she is looking for due to scarcity. Some form of desperation may set in after a while. This causes her to knowingly settle for the attractive, questionable guy who can’t do much for her as her man. He appears dependable and offers the chance at a long lasting relationship. He is most iikely not a good mate on paper. He is attracted to her because of her position and finances. As long as she keeps her position he will stick around.
If she does not find a desired mate or chooses not to settle she is now placed in the WHY CAN’T SUCCESSFUL BLACK WOMEN FIND A HUSBAND category.