Halle Berry is the poster child for bad relationships
Successful, intelligent women are known to choose bad relationships. Halle Berry is the most popular of the mystic women who can’t seem to keep a good man. Laura Govan, Gilbert Arenas baby mama times four is the latest in doing this. She has a masters degree in psychology. She got pregnant by Gilbert four times without being married. Gilbert left her while pregnant with the fourth child and cut off all of her finances. He is now suing her to keep her off of the VH! show Basketball Wives. Why would a man do something like this to the mother of his kids? A better question is how could such a beautiful, intelligent woman make such a bad choice over and over again with the same bad man?
Bright, intelligent women share some of the same traits that lead to them making bad choices in men. Here are a list of reasons:
Naivety- Most intelligent successful women lack all the traits of a gold digger. Unlike the gold digger, her drive for independence makes her not look for the qualities in a man that deem him stable. She does not care if a man makes lots of money or if he is a provider. All she cares about is potential and if she can love him. It’s all about love.
Supply and demand – Lack of men who are interested in her. Truth be told a lot of men simply do not want to deal with a woman that does not need them. Nor do they want to deal with a woman who is more than likely going to put pressure upon them to become a better man.
Picky – She is usually picky when it comes to the physical attributes of her mate. She wants a man that she is highly attracted to. Sure the lesser attractive men are interested in her but she desires to not only be adored and lusted but to also adore and lust her mate.
Assertion – These women tend to be aggressive and assertive (alpha females) They don’t have the passive traits that most men seek. She seeks a man who is more dominant and assertive than she is (alpha male). She is searching for someone to make her feel more like a lady and tame her aggressive nature. This trait attracts men (thugs) who take her assertive nature as a challenge. He will make game of it and attempt to conquer her and make her passive and then afterwards move on.
Confidence – She is usually highly confident and believes that she can change a man and things will get better. In her eyes, why wouldn’t a man want to be with her? She will voice her dislike of the situation but she continues to attempt to “fix” it, hoping he will come around and change. You see, she is a winner, she can accomplish anything. She will not give up too easily.
Unselfishness – She likes going nice places and doing things, so she doesn’t mind paying for them. She does not want a man to feel pressured or stressed by attempting to pay for these outings, so she gladly pays for the majority of them. She actually feels bad if a man is spending his last or attempting to do things out of his budget for her.
She may not truly know what a “real man” is or how it feels to be treated like a lady. Men have not treated her as such. She has not been truly feminized. Dealing with all that she is prone to pick a mate off of good looks, emotions and potential. Potential isn’t a guarantee, good looks are just that, emotions can stray you wrong…. She may do this several times in her life until she meets one that is so horrible that he causes her emotional strain and financial hardship. Not until then will she step back and assess her dating decisions. That is when she will start to think more like a gold digger and look for stability and longevity.
Now she logically wants a good man and has a new set of high requirements. She will usually find a good man without settling for less than what she wants. She will also prove to be a wonderful mate that truly appreciates her man.
BUT if she is a black woman seeking a black man – still seeking love, along with this new list of high requirements, she more than likely won’t find what she is looking for due to scarcity. Some form of desperation may set in after a while. This causes her to knowingly settle for the attractive, questionable guy who can’t do much for her as her man. He appears dependable and offers the chance at a long lasting relationship. He is most iikely not a good mate on paper. He is attracted to her because of her position and finances. As long as she keeps her position he will stick around.
If she does not find a desired mate or chooses not to settle she is now placed in the WHY CAN’T SUCCESSFUL BLACK WOMEN FIND A HUSBAND category.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ymsPTuK_X4
145 Comments
Very interesting…thought provoking…
Very interesting…thought provoking…
Rephrase that, so many GOOD black women are single.
The same reasons unsuccessful women do.
i hate my country i have to leave it
I understand the points you’re making. But book smarts doesn’t equals common sense though. I feel like social conditioning plays a role in this. They’re conditioned to go for the street guy or man who isn’t on her level. But she clowns or diss the educated brother in the process.
black women standards r to high
What do you consider “high standards” to be?
Pride! Pride! Pride!
It is a problem in our community! I’m thinking other race of women, take a little more than we do, or you can say they make a conscious effort To stay and work it out..no matter what!!
@nick find me one of those clowned educated brutha’s. Lol.
I really dont know!?! But i know most of the women that are single…werent GOOD women! Theres too many single females out there…AND THEY ALL COME FROM DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS…not only GOOD women smh!!!
The women who have accomplished something in life….Our standards are high because we’ve worked hard. Who the hell wants to settle for the first slob that says “hi”?? These men out here feel intimidated by women who are smarter than them and especially make more money than they do. The ego/status issues that men have have cause SOME of the problems in the dating scene. Men and women need to honestly work a lil harder to fix their issues and have a good relationship for once.
@Kenya You can find them everywhere actually. I see this alot where I live. I see females saying a dude is lame or boring because he’s educated.
Because every woman wants to be cared for successful or not and sometimes we believe what they say not what they do and we fall for the okey doke. I have done it more times than I care to admit.
@Nina Only an insecure man who hasn’t accomplished anything would be intimidated by a successful woman. I’m not intimidated at all. I feel like some women have ego issues and think she can talk or do men any kind of way because she makes alot of money. Also the expect men to kiss her ass and validate her.
Accept responsibility ladies..ya set yaselves up for failiure.its tel-lie-vision…instead of helping your brother get a leg up on the game.you want him to sacrifice and aim high in a society thats quick to neglect him! U want what the other half want but dnt knw that the other half had to do to EARN it!
Stop blaming men for your stupidity! He didnt hold a gun to ur head! KENYA u really hating!
Right on point !!!
I like how these Strong, Smart, and Independent© Goddesses are also mortal waifs in need saving from themselves by the Knights in Shining Armor©.
Lol right???
The views expressed in this article makes me sad.
sometimes our hearts and our head don’t know the other excists.
I know way too many women who wanted the wrong things in a man. They went for the cherry on top BEFORE diving into the meat and potatoes, and they got burned. Meanwhile, the good men who did get bypassed for the pretty boys found women who did appreciate them. Their loss, and I have no sympathy.
…they should have chosen someone like me….then they would be safe 4 ever & ever …
LOL
Just because you are intelligent and successful doesn’t make you a good mate. Those are good traits but aren’t the only ones you need in order to make a relationship work. The problem with articles of this nature is that they victimize ladies. Oh woe is me… I can’t find a man. Give me a break, there are plenty of brothers who are more than decent.
These so called super women in this article are just as hard to find as they guys they consider their equals. You have to put in some time and work to find them. Quality people are rare. Consider yourself lucky when you find one who wants to kick it with you.
I believe the real reason ANY woman is not married (including myself) is because they are not displaying the traits of a wife. What man wants a woman that they feel they have to compete with. A man wants a to be wanted and most woman are to independent.
The same reason men do. STUDIDITY
Problem is,they wan’t to boss you around.
I dont knw!bt to find someone to share with your all life tme is hard to find!dis days poeple dont trust each other@so its hard to find “a” pertner@
Controlling…. Sometimes you cant say anything to them.
Intelligent mind does not always equate to intelligent heart!!
Its the color gull
I think they’re talking about a “Soul Train Dancer?” I’ve never met a Success color Woman, and I’ve never seen a successful colored Lady. Maybe they’re just plain Greedy , or incompatibly Fat! But Bill Clinton, already took care of that. The Homo-don’t have to hide-out with them anymore to save their lives. However Misery might still want company.
Because they are human just like everybody else. Nobody is perfect
Tamika Soclassyimsassy Nicole; Successful? Just like everybody else, what’s the distinction here?
They always set their standard too high and for this makes it impossible to find the right man.
Just because you are successful doesn’t mean you are intelligent! First off! And second! Both people in the relationship don’t have to be rich! That is why most man try and get rich famous or both so we can have whatever woman we please! Women on the other hand get rich and only look at rich guys or guys who run in their circle instead of sampling what the world has to offer! LOVE! Someplace somewhere for everyone! You just have to look!
Its not the choice, its the man? So many men are in secure together with a good or greater woman, success to some mean powerless to others, on my space one woman grab her butt, she is rich & famous a normal man will look @ what she got instead of what she need. A real man would try to get to that greater woman & give her what she needs if she allows him to, agree?
http://www.askkissy.com/2011/06/28/why-do-intelligent-successful-women-make-bad-choices-in-men/ http://fb.me/tKVvXIcb
I always wondered why they pick the losers
ITS NOT THE BRAIN ITS THE HEART.YOU CANT FAULT WHO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH.I ASK MY SELF THE ?’S..
i dont know i sometimes think its me making wrong decisions about what i want instead of whats needed. I feel the way i was raised has something to do with that.
Maybe there desperate n fed up of being single
Despite all the literacy, college degrees, and technobabble, like still seeks out like.
Maybe the guy is a smooth talker. So they like his convo and their hooked. My opinion.
Or maybe therapy is needed
The sisters have a post colonial mentality.Second, the sisters act as though men owe them something before we approach. In conclusion, your attitude doesn't have to be NASTY period.When a man is trying to say GOOD MORNING to you, understand that he is starting your day off on a high note. The black woman are the finest women on the earth, but you market yourself to be the worst. You should move thru life as though the camera is following you around, AND not the JERRY SPRINGER SHOW camera men!!
Twitter/TESSLER@iPaddleQuotes
AskK on 23rd- I agree it is some legitimate truth to this idea..
Ever seen Daddy’s Little Girls? Those whack a$$ friends thought the same thing :-/
probably for the same reason that intelligent, successful men make bad choices in women.
self esteem issues.
same reson intelligent men make bad choices in women..IT AINT ALL ABOUT SEX AND MONEY!!!!!
Success financially doesn't equate to good decision making in the romance dept.You wont know for sure if you are compatable with a person until you go thru some fire,Then the question is doyou still like/love them in spite of there faults.Sometime yes and sometime no..
Odo that is very insightful
A house without mirrors is house without answers! Three dollars
Hmmm, you got me… if a man is only subtracting from you. And You + me = equals 1, its time to reevaluate some things! Clean house! And Take a good long hard look in the mirror. There’s nothing more tragic than being intelligent, funny, successful, yet insecure, stupid and bad judge of character! One should ALWAYS know their worth. If you don’t, your liable to Keep selecting, marrying an mating w every
other loser you meet. Look at
how some of These women go
from man…To man… somethings gotta give! Almost seem desperate some of them. I mean Can any of us explain J- Lo and
her marriage to her dancer (Chris Judd)?? What the hell did
he bring to “her” table?! Besides
a good roll n the hay- if that was
good. LOL
Being compatible is something you find out pretty early on… continuing on anyway is stupid! Heck I know if I’m compatible w someone after several conversations w them. I don’t need to bump my head by marrying him, then realizing after.
no self worth …all the money and degrees can not give a person with low self esteem worth
hmmmm…….
oh my happy birthday!!
I think they settle. Instead of seeking compatible men, they seek equal men….
Maybe she's not as intelligent as she seems?
Did u see her in Catwoman? She is whack in bed. The men she usually dates are used to chicks doing everything they want and need.
We only know what the media talks about, we don't know her personally so she might suck in relationships..
Beauty and good pussy are not synonymous~
Probably cuz the man keeps dumpin on her so why would she want to keep him but she keeps pickin the losers… go figure…
I think there may be some underlying issues, maybe some insecurity…I'm not a Dr…….but I'm just sayin'
B/C she is known as Haley Scary
@kissy can this brother get some props
Halle Berry is a GOOD woman & I come to
Her DEFENSE.
She crazy
I can honestly say i do not see what people see in halle berry. Sure she is nice lookin. But i personally know females that look better than her. I dont see what the hype is lol
she is light so she is fine lol to white devils and self hating negros that is the answer
The problem is ,there is no respect between the two of em, fame ,hype doesn`t built a relationship, unless if they both humble themselves & respect each other! U may be surprised that there was no love btwn em it was just a lust!
Damn………..
She seem like the pretty girl that has a wicked dark side…. & now she figure she got the $$$$$$ ~o why be with a man. She is a hurting woman deep inside like most ya'dig she is like we are only human $ cant fix a deep down flaw, hurt, or memory. To bad after all she has she is still just another black baby momma…..
Ok it's a secret but I'll let the cat out the bag,she doesn't know what the hell she wants..
Ima answer than read your articlr. Maybe Halle "Fine Ass" Berry is really a double pain in the ass! All those dudes… Sorry its her.
Because that is just the way it is.
Because we haven't met yet….. (Smokey's voice) Give me 3 1/2 minutes maybe 4 she be wantin to marry a nigga…..lol
And she looks good to be 45th!!
Ha you make me laugh Kissy xxxx
Men n women choose whom they can they pull strings on, when the is given up then they can grow as one.
All them movies she played in mesSed her head up..lol she actin 2much in the real world.
I don't know WHY they don't just Look for somebody like me! smdh..
#TheXfactor – Try me
Because she still in love with a player she calls my name during sex and them men can't take it.
Because she keeps looking for the wrong guy. You be the judge
Strong successful women are hard to deal with because they were there success everywhere they go
MAYBE SHE'S JUST FULL OF HER SELF,AND CAN'T FULFIL ANY MAN'S FANTASIES.
Halle might be might fucked up…Dont judge a book by it cover or its press release.
The cat and the dog. Inbox me.
but still,the lil white boi grind she down.
"Kizuri hakikosi kasoro!"
Kissy, that's a Kiswahili adage meaning: no good thing is faultless!
i personally LOVE Halle,, i think she is an awesome actress, very attractive as well (she wouldnt have been attractive if she weren't beautiful on the inside too)… and i wouldnt judge her in any way just because of her personal relationships… only her and the men in her lives know what goes or went down between them that led to her divorces.
What u think kissy:)? Some want to continue this life… Like enjoy how many they can play on (50%) plus the one' s who wants security, faithful, honesty, trust and love. Thats my fifty fifty… On who want the love n who dont:)
I think she can't keep a man because beneath the money, fame and beauty she's just a regular duck.lol.She let Billy Bob's trailer park trash ass smash in that Monsters Ball movie and then let Adrian Brody kiss her live on TV in front of her husband! Fame and beauty can't mask a lack of self-esteem.
Good point? why lml
She Has Had Her Share Of Scarred Brothas & White Boi Was Even Worse. I Truly Hope She Finds A Good Man One Day…
i think she needs to find her self and love her… you know she cant her in one ear because of some nasty ass man hit her….. where is my prince charming i think i have gave up so i just love my self more then ever!!!!!!
Because "good guys finish last". (Perfect example)
She doesnt let a man be a man! She's a very intimidating factor with her being so independent, famous, wealthy, beautiful, and what can i do 4 u you can't already do yourself !HALLE MS BERRY LET A MAN SHOW YOU HE CAN BE A MAN !!!!!!! ONE LOVE TO MS BERRY!!!!!!!!!!
Happy 45th Birthday Halle Berry ~ My Favorite Movies: Queen, The Dorothy Dandridge Story, Their Eyes Were Watching God, Die Another Day, Carmen Jones, Why Do Fools Fall In Love & The Wedding.
because it is not about the looks, but something deeper.
Because in hard times the crazy Bitch comes out… I'm just saying!!!!
Beautiful and successful don’t make you a good wife
LOL. I find this article funny and biased. Then again gossip is never factual. It is however, quite entertaining.
that article just nailed it. it could offend most 'liberated' women but sad to say, that's the truth. :/
Krish Enriquez I wonder why women like to write about things that concern men. They mostly have no clue and don't understand that most men just "put-up" with the stereo-types or "ideas" women have about men in relationships.
it's not just women who write books about relationships. but have you ever thought that, most men also believe in whatever they read din naman be it of other topics anyway? i guess that goes the same for both genders
Krish Enriquez Yes i do. my only point here is. why are people making assumptions when we do not personally know the people involved. Also Men and women have different personalities let's let the people who really understand them help them with their relationships. And let us pretend to know everything about relationships. For all we know the person or couple we think that is so "in-love" is faking it. And as far as the article is concerned. Has the author been in a relationship with Halle Berry. What if she's a biatch too? I'm not saying the man doesn't have any faults. Let's leave gossip to fiction and simply laugh at it instead of believing what we read all the time.
Cause at the end of the day, they are human like everybody else.
money and titles go to their head.
money and titles go to their head.
Their father figure (or lack of) plays a small part.
Their father figure (or lack of) plays a small part.
What did You Do??
What did You Do??
“How do you write women so well?”
Melvin: “I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.”
“How do you write women so well?”
Melvin: “I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.”
because just like the non-educated women they are too worried about who has swag and to them most educated men dont have swag or too nerdy
because just like the non-educated women they are too worried about who has swag and to them most educated men dont have swag or too nerdy
they have control issues…….women figure they can control a man who makes less than them as opposed to a man who makes equal or more…..
they have control issues…….women figure they can control a man who makes less than them as opposed to a man who makes equal or more…..
they forget more money does equal God
they forget more money does equal God
Because women want fried ice.
Because women want fried ice.
Welcome to 2012. Eerrythang is backwards…
Welcome to 2012. Eerrythang is backwards…
Because they stupid… You be the judge!
A relationship needs a feeling of love and caring…
Being successful in one area doesn’t make you successful in all areas of life. Having money may just mean you have something to fall back on so you can recover a little better. We all make mistakes though.
Maybe…beauty & no brains when it comes to men
idk shit like Mary J. Blidge Her and Mr. Wrong…….WTF
Because most are really only successful. Lol. Joke
Its not that we make bad choices I think on both sides no one ever learned how to make a relationship work. We learned about christopher columbus and 2 + 2 = 4 , but never the in-outs of a marriage, how to rear children, etc. And most our parents didn’t know either so its all a learning experience.
There ain’t no relationship subject in school
Such an eye opener kissy.I love this.
Interesting comments..
Now here you go again
You say you want your freedom
Well, who am I to keep you down?
It’s only right that you should
Play the way you feel it
But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness
Like a heartbeat drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering
What you had
And what you lost…
And what you had…
And what you lost
follow me on Twitter @HEADLESSGANG I’M A GOOD MAN
[...] in my travels I found an article ‘Why do intelligent, successful women make bad choices in men?’. Now, the other point that I should make about myself is that i’m not a huge believer in [...]