17 Jun 2011
Posted by Miss Kissy 
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“@KissyDenise- Here is the reason black men date outside their race… Black men want to marry a woman who has absolutely no problem being submissive & knowing/playing their role(s). Finding a black woman who will do this (without being a headache) is extremely difficult. There can only be 1 King! Black women have a problem allowing men to take the throne/run his Kingdom. Others use their brains & run the Kingdom (through him). He’s ok with that “ http://twitter.com/#!/askcheyb
Black women are not submissive. Nonsense! You just don’t know how to make her that way. Why are so many black men stating that they want a Michelle Obama type of woman yet they themselves are not a Barack Obama? They totally lack the traits of a man who encompasses a woman being submissive to him.
It is said that a black woman who grows up in a home without a father is unwilling to submit to her man. it is true that black women who grew up in homes without a father may not know what submission is and usually don’t have that level of respect for men. When a man who is a loving, protecting leader finds a good woman she will naturally slowly submit to him.
Some women submit to the wrong men. These women will submit to a man who did not display good leadership skills, along with also acting in her best interest. Walking away feeling like submission has messed up her life up and feeling like submission means being a doormat.
A father protects, gives his daughter what she wants and needs while teaching her about life. Fathers raise their daughters to be independent, meanwhile spoiling them and making sure they have everything they need. A good father sends his daughter out into the world with knowledge instilled in her by him. She leaves home with knowledge, purpose and a sense of direction. Quite naturally the daughter has a great amount of respect for her father.
For the most part a majority of black men do not play their correct role in the household or relationships with black women. Therefore their woman is unwilling to submit to him. A lot of black men will only play the role of sex partner and protector.
Black men will often meet a black woman and instruct her to be strong, be independent and don’t ask him for anything. She will do exactly that. But, now that she has been strong, independent and done everything on her own, you want her to bow down and turn her life over to a man. She did not get to where she is today by being submissive in every relationship she encountered. Had she done so she may not be the successful woman that you are now interested in.
The successful single black woman who dates black men is more then likely going to do everything on her own, so of course she is going to lack the respect needed to submit to a man. Submission has to be earned. It should only be given when you have asked for her hand in marriage. Even if a man came along who would assist her by giving her knowledge to better herself and mow the lawn sometime that would be a start.
You can’t expect a black woman to submit to you when you are the type of man that offers her no assistance. Why should she submit to a man that has her changing her own oil? Will you at least help her locate a repair shop when her car breaks down? Did you make sure that she had AAA?
You should not expect a woman to submit to you if you have not found your own direction and purpose in life. Steel sharpens steel You can’t come with a empty pencil expecting to write the laws of the house. Even if lead was in the pencil she would only use the other end to erase what you wrote. A man has to set the tone and be firm and decisive. His instructions should be written in ink. Pages: 1 2
61 Comments
Amen………….every man is not worth being submissive for!!!!
Happy Sabbath Kissy
Michelle Obama is a submissive black woman | Why doesn’t it happen for you? | AsK Kissy http://t.co/ErFfv70
I personally think black women are molded in a different way than other races of women. For example more black women are the head of their households. You have to be aggressive and hold it down. We just have to loosen uo when dating occurs and learn to be submissive to our mate. If he’s worth it of course.
I bet he treats her like a queen.
you have to either have money or have that pound game….that’s the only way they will be submissive….
That was an awesome article! Loved it! It was articulate and informative. A great read! Thank you! Reposting!
Clearly, some of us men have not lived up to our responsibilities to our women and families. However, let us not confuse the point. Mrs. Obama’s submission, if that is what it is, has absolutely nothing to do with her husband, it has everything to do with her understanding and OBEDIENCE to GOD’s expectation of her !!! A woman’s submission, contrary to popular belief and propaganda, is evidence of her power, not a contradiction to it !!!
I am going to turn tiger woods!
@AskCheyB In response to why you can’t find a submissive black woman. http://t.co/LxdVGSC
Tired of scrubs saying they want a Michelle Obama. HOw to get one http://t.co/nulV7Pn
Kissy Denise a ma zing! I have had this covo with my friends most of us are alpha females but we have a weakness for theguy who can sit us down…although we have some of those alpha female qualities we knw that a man of character who knows how to lead we will submit…i am so glad u touched on black women being raised to be strong it is.
I didnt finish…lol i need a iPad lol…i was gonna say uh…idk but it is something that needs to be addressed….we need to be a little softer so that men will see us as delicate too….
Kissy Denise a ma zing! I have had this covo with my friends most of us are alpha females but we have a weakness for theguy who can sit us down…although we have some of those alpha female qualities we knw that a man of character who knows how to lead we will submit…i am so glad u touched on black women being raised to be strong it is.
I didnt finish…lol i need a iPad lol…i was gonna say uh…idk but it is something that needs to be addressed….we need to be a little softer so that men will see us as delicate too….
Marlon well spoken although I believe this is a characteristic which must be developed we are indeed born with it however if it was never developed properly it lays dormant. Unless one learns it is indeed a virtue & not a sign of weakness.
So nice to see so many intelligent, beautiful black people reading and such intelligent responses..
Point taken Serenity !!!!
super sen cnm
Yeah black women are diffrent…More of yall are a$$ holes. I been around both white women and black women equally….I dont date outta my race….But i dont blame black men for dating out the race one bit. And it has nothing to do with white women being weak. It has more to do with finding a person you can just chill with and enjoy being around with no drama. Black women are more uptight and less out going than white women. In other words i think black females are boring lol
$$$
Wow …..just reading such a well put point should make brothers attempt to do better. Then reading all the great comments again. WOW… Very insightful. Amen your majesty.
@Abner you must be kind of boring too considering its Friday night and you are on Facebook where is your date? Sorry Kissy just really had to go there smh.
I don’t really see it as “submission”. relationships are about give and take-compromise, it really does come down to give and you shall receive. I think so many women have been hurt by a man that they felt they took care of that they don’t want to do it again. That’s why women have to learn to forgive and let go. When they forgive their past they open themselves to meet new people and when they find that ONE that they want nothing more than to take care of they won’t even see it as submission.
I also don’t see why it always seems to come down to white and black. there are good white women and men and there are good black women and men. I am a white woman who loves me a black man. I just can’t wait until the precedent changes. There are too many BOYS running around here that don’t know how to treat a good woman when they find one. Race is irrelevant
Ms kissy your a obama type of lady.even though you don’t answer my calls!lol
Totally on point, especially the last few paragraphs. I could not agree more.
Very informative and any man or woman going into a relationship should read it. Like a refresher course. At 40 years old I realize that I needed those words 20 years ago. But I have learned a lot in that time and hope to apply in my future relationships.
How do you know she is submissive?
Sure and she is coming to Azania next week. Being humble like her does pay off.
hi kissy.. Royal king louis says: I agree woman are powerful soldiers too.. but its important you allow man to be a man.. and feel strong and powerful to dominate you.. if its reverse u midas well be a dayum DIKE lesbian.. play your role females.. what the hell wrong with yah.. muah kiss
I am not sure how to respond to this article. She makes some cogent points, however, I have been a submissive one in a relationship with black men. Only, to be walked all over and used. I have had my credit ruined trying to be supportive of them only to find out I was the fool. Because they were running around on me while I was working two jobs. I finally decided that dating black men is a waste of time. I just keep to myself and will probably die alone but happy without the headaches of deceitful black men. SMH
I love black women
Black is beautiful..no matter what they say.
I Love Black Women And Married To 1 For 36 Years !!!
I agree with you…..however IF more women would demand respect and NOT take what some males have to offer, I believe Men will be better men. IF Shaneeka and the Eesha’s would demand respect, men would be better men to us, I believe that. Women need to stop taking the mess of a piece of a man! Need to stop standing by mere males and stand beside a MEN
No thats not true. We forgot how to treat each other because so much(the rap industry, black writers, media) is standing and miss educating us. Black on Black love is real. But if you always look for wrong them thats all you will see.
Its not jus black women they don’t treat well its women in general.
ILL PIMP BEFORE I TRICK
I agree on the conspiracy part but I’m not sure about the “I’m not tricking” part??? What does tricking have to do with loving someone?
Black women are beautiful but they are very good of taking care of their men plus they can support their man spiritually. That’s why I love black women very much. ^_^
Thats y i want 2 get married 2 a white guy!
I’m so proud to be African!t
I like that Tracy! Ok and I just want to say this in addition. I can’t put a finger on it but something has happen where the love or respect for each other is long gone. I love my sisters but the attitudes are shot and I can only speak on how I see women don’t care how a Ninja act, can only do me!
Congrats on the longevity of your marriage, Paul Dauphinee. I wish I could say the same thing 36 years from now
Thats not true cuz alot of women especially nowadayz women dont know nothin bout bein a woman thety toooooo argumentive, and alwayz into drama, they’re not supportive,selfish tha nowaday dont hav a submissive bone in their body tha nowaday women only is worried about wat u got like they’re entitled to instead of tryin to build summin togetha not all BLACK WOMEN BUT MAJORITY OF THA NOWADAYZ BLACK WOMEN
Its not the black man but the quality women look for.thugs pretty boys and high mant
Part of the problem is in how women raise their sons! As a single mother co-parenting a son, I am conscious of how I raise him! I have to be a role-model and teach him to respect women through my actions and words!
Black women need to leave dog catching to the dog catcher. Stop dating them dogs who you think you can change. I learned before going in the strip club, none of them can wifey you and dance the pole. Look for the brother taking care of his home, which is a sign he will take care of you…
A lot of problems start with women are too independent these days and not scared to make it known. That is not the way God intended.
Oopsp! Well Wat im saying is the normal good hard working black man. (Blue collar)are abundant! We just don’t have the 3 Re (rap,riches and rides) to attract black women.try us and you’ll be greatly surprised!
WATZ D MOTIVE BEHIND THIS VIEW OF YOURS KISSY?
If a boy was never taught how to be a man bc he never had a male role model then you can understand why they dont treat women well. Not just black women. A mother can give a child but so much. I think it takes a man to teach a man.
The not tricking attitude comes from women (no matter what race) who feel if they sleep with you, you owe them $. That’s not a woman period. Thats a prostitute. I think the woman’s train of thought is eff’ed up these days. Yes I know their good one’s out here, I know plenty of ‘em but there’s a lot of trash out there looking for everything when they have nothing to offer but booty.
Personally, I grow weary of women telling men to behave like men. You don’t hear us saying behave like women. As if we knew what that means in this day and age. There is no conspiracy to take Black men from Black women but I can tell you that when you approach a woman of another ethnic background she doesn’t lead with “Act Like a Man”. When a Black woman sees a “successful” black man with a woman from another race on his arm usually it’s not because he hates Black women. People hunt where they work/hang. There aren’t many of us at the executive level and so the pickings are slim. I bet the percentages of successful Black couples are better in places like Atlanta and DC because of the density of viable people.
excuse me sister……but could you tap that white woman behind you for me??
LOL James!
Very good insight. Need to have you writing on a market.
It is a shame, however, that these isolated conclusions that people make are based on skin color. An INDIVIDUAL’s actions are based on their decisions. Which usually comes from how they grew up.
I don't demand submission from my woman (wife). Submission shouldn't be something that's just gifted to a man on account of him having a penis. If my wife defers to me and lets me take the lead in many affairs in our life it's because I have PROVEN myself to be a wise and capable leader. However I will still encourage her to be a strong, thinking, independent woman. Her possessing these qualities does not intimidate me or infringe upon my sense of being a man. I'm secure enough in who I am.
Women should generally submit to a man she respects. A leader never has to ask someone to be submissive. Submissive to me is allow a man to do his role as man of the house. A woman SHOULD NOT be submissive to a man who is not handling any kind of responsibility. Unfortunately, quite a few women are not knowledgeable enough to understand that since quite a few are desperate in obtaining a man.
I see nothing wrong with being a submissive woman, but the context of black men dating outside of their race to find submissive women. Is at first a cop out, while what would be the point of wanting someone submissive, unless you are wanting have some form of control over them. It doesn’t seem like the relationship is starting out on equal terms for both people.
Moreover, I agree with earlier posters who said that submissiveness in relationship should be earned. I cannot see myself being submissive to any old random guy, especially one I just started dating.
Again, it’s not in some women’s nature to be submissive. I do not think they have to be for anyone else. I hate to say that, but it says something if man argues that he cannot handle a dominant or not so submissive woman, especially if she loves him. Isn’t it kind of his problem. I can understand nagging or belittling one, or putting oneself up on a pedestal. But, some things are very much nit-picking.